Deja-vu

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Deja Vu)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“Oh Jesus, they better not do some stupid typing everything twice gag”

~ Oscar Wilde on The Deja-Vu article

“Oh Jesus, they better not do some stupid typing everything twice gag”

~ Oscar Wilde on The Deja-Vu article

Deja-vu (French for déjà vu) is a mysterious psychic phenomenon that makes one feel that one has lived through something before. It is classified in psychology as a mysterious psychic phenomenon of the psyche. It can be a very serious and torturous condition if experienced over long periods of time and, if experienced over long periods of time, can lead to insanity if experienced over long periods of time, meaning deja-vu can be a very serious and torturous condition. Deja-vu is also a mysterious psychic phenomenon that, if experienced over long periods of time, can lead to insanity, meaning deja-vu can be a very fun and entertaining tool for sadistic psychopaths.

“Oh Jesus, they better not do some stupid typing everything twice gag”

~ Oscar Wilde on The Deja-Vu article

Classic symptoms of Deja-vu[edit | edit source]

Other symptoms of deja-vu[edit | edit source]

  • You experience deja-vu (Not to be confused with Déjà vu)

History[edit | edit source]

Deja-vu (French for déjà vu, this term is a French one, and it means "already seen". Émile Boirac, a French philosopher, is believed to introduce this term) was first described in the 1800s by Sigmund Freud in the 1800s, when Sigmund Freud first described deja-vu. Ever since, deja-vu has confused and amazed people, including Sigmund Freud, who experienced it often in his life after he first described deja-vu in the 1800s. Ever since, deja-vu (French for déjà vu) has confused and amazed people and led them to insanity.

Causes[edit | edit source]

The causes of deja-vu are still widely unknown. In practice, there usually are two components: an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant without being a major component of the earlier event, and a degree of strong emotion, including potentially psychosis, concerning the possibility of the event. Thus, while seeing a piece of bread wouldn't likely cause Deja-vu concerning a sandwich eaten five years ago, seeing a woman wearing a red hat when you have a memory of trauma concerning red hats around the time when your family was murdered in front of you, you may recall your family being killed by a woman that looked like the hat wearer. Note that deja-vu is not the same thing as being reminded of a past event; it is only Deja-vu when the current event never actually occurred in the past, but only seems like it had. The causes of deja-vu are still widely unknown.

Deja-vu is largely incurable, but typically doesn't interfere with one's life to any significant degree. In a Queenstown University study of twenty-six patients who had experienced deja-vu in the past year, 54% considered it a "good experience", 22% considered it "thought provoking", and only 5% "wished it hadn't happened". Another group, unaware of the previous two, is currently studying 54 patients at Camberra University in the exact same manner, and reporting "eerie results". Five months later, a small team at Kyoto Daigaku, in Kyoto independently conducted the same study with the same questions, and got remarkably similar data; only well after the fact did they encounter the original study.

Prognosis[edit | edit source]

Sadly, in severe cases, the patient is often deranged beyond all hope of recovery. Sometimes the only appropriate response is to place the patient into a large cardboard box padded with styrofoam chips, tape securely, and send via FedEx to the following address:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500 

This will not really do anything helpful for the patient. However, it should amuse the national news outlets, give someone the feeling that one has lived through something before, and confuse the Department of Homeland Security for weeks on end. Thus, it will not really do anything helpful for the patient.

Treatment options[edit | edit source]

Patients who experience deja-vu typically do not wish to be treated; however, in the case that one does, there are usually a number of options. The deja-vu "trigger" must be discovered; this is an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant which reminded inaccurately of earlier events. The patient should be regularly exposed to the trigger, first in a predictable office setting after being warned, and then steadily less predictably after that. In severe cases, medications such as haldol and lithium can be prescribed to calm the patient and reduce any psychosis-related effects.

Occasionally, treatment of deja-vu can make the condition progressively worse. Close attention must be paid to ensure that the patient doesn't regress and become more easily triggered. The deja-vu "trigger" must be discovered; this is an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant which reminded inaccurately of earlier events. In such cases, treatment with medication is often the only solution; the patient should also be monitored for other potential psychological problems.

Causes[edit | edit source]

The causes of deja-vu are still widely unknown. In practice, there usually are two components: an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant without being a major component of the earlier event, and a degree of strong emotion, including potentially psychosis, concerning the possibility of the event. In practice, there usually are two components: an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant without being a major component of the earlier event, and a degree of strong emotion, including potentially psychosis, concerning the possibility of the event. Thus, while seeing a piece of bread wouldn't likely cause deja-vu concerning a sandwich eaten five years ago, seeing a woman wearing a red hat when you have a memory of trauma concerning red hats around the time when your family was murdered in front of you, you may recall your family being killed by a woman that looked like the hat wearer. Note that deja-vu is not the same thing as being reminded of a past event; it is only deja-vu when the current event never actually occurred in the past, but only seems like it had.

Deja-vu is largely incurable, but typically doesn't interfere with one's life to any significant degree. In a Queenstown University study of twenty-six patients who had experienced deja-vu in the past year, 54% considered it a "good experience", 22% considered it "thought provoking", and only 5% "wished it hadn't happened". Another group, unaware of the previous two, is currently studying 54 patients at Camberra University in the exact same manner, and reporting "eerie results". Five months later, a small team at Kyoto Daigaku, in Kyoto independently conducted the same study with the same questions, and got remarkably similar data; only well after the fact did they encounter the original study. Another group, unaware of the previous two, is currently studying 54 patients at Camberra University in the exact same manner, and reporting "eerie results".

But what is Deja-vu?[edit | edit source]

Deja-vu (French for déjà vu) is a mysterious psychic phenomenon that makes one feel that one has lived through something before. It can be a very serious and torturous condition if experienced over long periods of time and, if experienced over long periods of time, can lead to insanity if experienced over long periods of time, meaning deja-vu can be a very serious and torturous condition. Deja-vu is also a mysterious psychic phenomenon that, if experienced over long periods of time, can lead to insanity, meaning deja-vu can be a very torturous and serious condition.

Classic symptoms of Deja-vu[edit | edit source]

  • Anxiety
  • Insomnia
  • The feeling that one has lived through something before
  • Sensitivity to repetitive themes
  • Profuse sweating
  • Loss of bladder control
  • Heart palpitations
  • The feeling that one has lived through something before
  • Imagining that you own a rabbit
  • Anxiety
  • Chapped lips

Further research[edit | edit source]

As studies on deja-vu are nearly absent, it is recommended to interested applicants to apply to NIH for research grants on the subject. Of particular interest would be studies on whether or not patients who had experienced deja-vu were disturbed by the experience. Such questions could include asking whether they "wished it hadn't happened", or considered it "a good experience" or even "thought-provoking". These questions should be asked repeatedly in order to build up a good statistical picture.

In Modern Times, Deja-Vu is getting old due to repetition, some times Deja Vu is mixed with Deja Bu so in modern times deja Bu is the new Deja Vu, where as Deja Vu is the old Deja Va with a new Deja Bu, but Deja Bu happens after Deja Vu has occurred, but Deja-BU never occurs until Deja-Va is met with Deja-VU which only happens in history so expereincing Deja-Vu, you have to wait for tomorrow that Deja-Vu becomes Deja-Va, hence Deja-Va Occurs following the next day in persuit of Deja-Bu, but as Deja-Bu starts to appear, Deja VU becomes old and repetetive in Modern Times.

See also[edit | edit source]

But what is Deja-vu?[edit | edit source]

Deja-vu (French for déjà vu) is a mysterious psychic phenomenon that makes one feel that one has lived through something before. If you have it, it is advised you duct tape yourself in a large, cardboard box and mail yourself to the following address:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

See also[edit | edit source]