Copper wire
The copper wire was the most famous criminal device of the early 20th century. It is believed to have been invented on either December 31, 1889 or January 1, 1890 (no one was at Times Square to watch the bomb drop for New Years, at least no one alive) by an American criminal mastermind. It is normally used against coppers and other law enforcers, normally by choking them with it.its gay
The copper wire is made out of the element copper (duh) and because of the metal's malleability and bendability, a 3 inch wire can be stretched out to about 5 feet, the ideal length to choke the coppers with, without getting skinnier . After a few hours of non-use, it will shrink back to its original size so it can be used again.
Production[edit | edit source]
Copper wire is formed as a by-product of two jews fighting over the same coin. Whilst the effects may not be apparent at first, after around 15 to 20 minutes, the coin is noticeably deformed and flattened. After around 30 minutes the coin is flattened enough to be called coppah wire. Because of the laborious and time-consuming nature of its production, huge Jew-farms have been set up, with as many as 1375 Jews per square metre. The conditions in the Jew-farms are impeccable, and are not dissimilar to those found in the luxurious and world-famous hotel resort of Guantanamo Bay. The top 15 fastest-earning men in the world are all entreprenuers involved with Jew-farm.
History[edit | edit source]
The copper wire has had a long history, it has been used ever since 1890 by criminals in order to defy the law. Numerous uses have been found for this infamous tool. During the Second World War, 1939-45, Adolf Hitler saw copper wire as the root of all evil and called his cunning plan to caese production the Lolocaust, sorry, Holocaust. In some respects, he was successful, but many see him as an underachiever. Copper wire production began after 1945 when Hitler left the Lolocaust on maternity leave.
The 1890's[edit | edit source]
American criminal mastermind/rapper/gangsta 50 Cent is the alleged inventor of the copper wire (and also the person who allegedly swapped the Times Square New Years Ball with a bomb.) It is rumored that when he finally created a copper wire, he said the following, which also appeared in his new single Get Wired:
Choo gonna do now ya mothafuckin' coppahs? You gonna get chooself a mad painful death now suckahs. Cuz now, coppah is gonna kill coppahs!
After inventing it, 50 Cent decided he was going to go test it out. The coppers were searching for him, so why not try it while they're looking? He walked out of his hideout on 7th Avenue in New York City and taunted the coppers to chase him. The coppers were no match for the copper wire. It killed them in barely one second.
In 1892, 50 Cent visited a fellow gangsta: Snoop Dogg. They began discussing about how 50 Cent wasted the cops in New York City in 1890. But there was one problem - how to get the copper wire to waste attack dogs? Being the brains of their gang, Snoop Dog devised a hypothesis on how to waste the "poor widdle puppies." It turned out to be true: copper wires happened to be dogxic to dogs.
Recent Developments[edit | edit source]
"Wire" was recently proven to be a mass hallucination.