Citizens Band radio

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
CB Radio...every bit as crap as it looks.


For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Citizens Band radio.

Citizens' Band radio (also known as CB radio) was a sort of proto-internet popular in the 1970s and early 80s. Much like the internet, it was popular amongst truckers, geeks and lonely single men. CB has been popular in the USA since the 40s, and remains so in those states where fornication with farm animals is legal (ie; Alabama). In Europe, CB was unheard of until the release of the wildly-successful film 'Convoy', in which a truck driver named Rubber Duck (a term applied to a short, flexible aerial attached to a hand-held CB) used his radio to organise a massive convoy of trucks in protest at something or other. Despite the huge commercial success of the film, it really isn't worth seeing.


Convoy. "Ain't nothin' gonna get in their way"...especially not any consideration toward making a watchable film.

Handles were nicknames used as 'call-signs' by CB users, very much like the names people give themselves on internet chatrooms - for example, "..=0..0=&hearts%stacey_hotgirl14&hearts" or "crazyguy23uk". Much like chatroom names, they usually reflected how the user wished to appear to others rather than the reality.

CB Slang[edit]

CB users had their own language three decades before the emergence of 1337. Many American examples are code words used to warn other mobile users (in the US, CBs were often placed in cars as well as trucks) of police presence and speed traps, especially during the 1970s when the US national speed limit was set at 55mph. The intention was that the police, monitoring the CB frequencies, would be unable to understand codes such as 'Smokey in the trees' (meaning a radar trap hidden by the roadside). Unfortunately, since films like Convoy were equally as popular amongst the police as they were amongst normal humans, the codes were really quite transparent. One notable difference between CB and internet slang is the fact that swearing and the use of abusive language was generally frowned-upon by CB users.

The lack of support of profanity and abusive language has since mfaded. On the contrary, profanity and abusive behavior is highly encouraged. "Shut up Stupid" is the favorite phrase on CB. You are expected to take a southern drawl, or other hilbilly sounding accent, and have the vocabulary of a drunk 3 year old Lithuanian sailor.

Why has CB become unpopular?[edit]

Well.. honestly.. would you be caught dead using it? It is sort of like comparing a fat chick to a moped. They are fun to ride, but don't let anyone see you with one. CB is similar, but worse.

Imagine folks who live in trailers, whose parents are brother and sister, and you have a CBer.

Over the years, Blacks.. I'm sorry... African Americans (we can't piss no one off, as America is weak and easiliy offended) use the CB with high powered amplifiers and typicaly talk on channels 6 and 12. The term "And I'm getting Up" is used often, woth other talk that may or may not resemble the English language.

Profanity and generally conduct unbecoming a human being is commonplace on CB.

Folks often lose IQ points by simply listening to Cb. I cannot cite clinical studies, although I understand they have been done,

See Also[edit]