Chinese toys
Chinese toys are now considerd one of the most dangerous epidemics ever to step foot on the ass of god (or America). Now that China is making our national flag we can sit back and get fatter right?
NO FUCKIN WAY!
Now they are getting mad and sending toys to us with deadly ions in them that contain child sperm or lead for short. This ingredient is put in everything, from dildos to toy cars. so think twice befor putting that "lead" in your mouth.
how the fuck does this affect my family?[edit | edit source]
Well, dipshits, let me tell you about a young boy who died because he saw his mommy naked in the shower with a chinese dildo... or maybe not. Many people accross the U.S. nation have been infected with a new disease that this "lead" is now trailing.
now diseases no fricken way![edit | edit source]
Yes, there is now an official disease caused by child sperm or lead. if you experience any of the following symptoms, please contact the military before its too late. Symptoms include mild hunger, occasional thirst, tiredness at night, nature calling once a day, and acting like a normal human being. it may sound crazy, but over 50 million people in the America have died today because of lead dildos.
how can i protect my family[edit | edit source]
Here are a few suggestions on how to escape this epidemic: Dont go to Wal-Mart,
Keep your pussy away from dildos you sick fuck
Make sure American made doctors' masks are worn at all times (wait do we even make those)
Barricade your windows and doors, and avoid ALL contact with Chinese toys or infected individuals.
how deadly is this epidemic[edit | edit source]
This epidemic is so bad to the point where one Chinese toy could do 200 times more damage than 100 nuclear bombs.
history of lead[edit | edit source]
It is believed that lead was found when Benjamin Franklin was masturbating. When he made himself cum, it is believed that a toxin in his sperm was inflicted into the earths crust to hid away for 300 years until the ancient Romans were to discover this disease and test it on pigs. After succesfully raping the pigs, the ancient Romans would inject the sperm into the pig, then they would eat it. Literally they were eating Benjamin Franklin's kids. All of the ancient Romans died exept for one who was named luke skywalker. Luke rose from the bodies and hailed befor the Nerd kingdom and said that the disease will be used in toys. Thus, the Roman sperm calender was created.
what things dont have lead in them?[edit | edit source]
nothing
how does lead travel[edit | edit source]
Lead travels through people, using people's assholes to travel from place to place. however this theory is still unsure of. The most understood theory is that it is traveling through herpes or the disease of the hoes. this is why half of America has this disease.
is the e.p.a. helping us[edit | edit source]
The E.P.A. or Enviromental Protecton Agency has resigned their duties because they have no fucking clue how to contain the viral outbreak.
when is this virus expected to calm down[edit | edit source]
When we all dead, and just a reminder: If you ever AND I MEAN EVER! SEE MADE IN CHINA WRITIN' ON ANY OF YOUR STUFF!!! OH BOY YOU'RE DONE!