Catolic gospel

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Kitten prays

Catolic gospel is the canonical text which is recognized by Cat-tholicism as a basis doctrine and infallible truth, binding for all righteous cats. It contains the commandments for all the cats, without exception, including for non-catolics. According to legend, the Holy Mewses got the text of the commandments from God by early March on the sacred birch branch. The full text of the commandments do not survived. The text below was discovered in a litter of cat of Pope John Paul II in 1972.

About food[edit]

  • Who asks he shall find, and you being endowed with a voice, ask for food heartily, not every day but many times per day.
  • Your prayers will be especially pleasing to God if you are full up; is there many merits of the requests of hungry?
  • Eat only food that I created for you, pasta and soup is the unholy esse, leave it to the man or woman.
  • However, the stolen fleshes of animal or fish or sea reptile without scales, though expensive, are suitable for food, wherefore are received with danger morally-good work.
  • I say to you, do not press your luck and use every opportunity to steal food, even if you are not hungry.
  • And again I say, do not press your luck even if you are satiated, but keeps food in a stowaway, wherefore man or woman has the sharp eyes and the long hands.
  • But if the worthless smell from the cover will go, do not eat, leave it to the man or woman.
  • It is not ashamed to eat food from floor, not the bowl, because bowl from man or woman but floor from Me, and who do not eat from the bowl so shall see the Kingdom of Cats.
Orthodox catolic meditates on the Holy Scripture

About excretion[edit]

  • Run from temptation, box which is designated for you – from man or woman it is.
  • Not the box your mansion but the whole world and man or woman must know about it.
  • And your close must know it’s your house so as there were not yeasty factions.
  • Therefore leave piles and waters everywhere, particularly choose the angles, wherefore they are not available for man or woman.
  • But in that place where you eat, do not leave.
  • I say unto you, inearth it or in the sand or on a linoleum floor even your efforts are feckless. I would appreciate your making an efforts.
  • Then man or woman will remove, will pour vinegar that place, and the house will be not yours, but the human house.
  • Be patient, I say unto you, suffer smell nasty and indispensable blows and snout poking in your piles and waters. For those who suffer because of me, that the Kingdom of Cats.
  • Is true, man or woman will leave and then you do justice and your house will be again.
  • If there is other man or woman in the house, sprinkle their shoes or a bag or other things, and you will find salvation.
  • A masculine cat reaches maturity but will shake its tail several times per day and leave behind the mark, and your house will be, forever and ever.

About plants[edit]

  • They are human spawns and take your place and do not give a solar shed light and there is no benefit from them.
  • You have teeth and tear their whips and leaves and fruits
  • Which are suitable for food, then devour them.
  • Poison is among them, do not touch them either pad or a tooth, and do not touch the cactus.
  • But give them for the fall, you are endued the powerful flesh; I will hear sounds and see shards.
  • Sprinkle that ground in which plants have a foods and your house will be, and not a human house.
  • And the dead plants out of place in your house, give them for a fall, and not be afraid of the water streamed, and potsherds, whether they are crystal.
  • Man or woman will bring dead spruce and decorate it.
  • Truly I say unto you, behold the human sign, and it is dangerous, as long as standing, and there is no power in it lies.
  • Truly, I say, do not be afraid of thorny needles and unholy smell and adhesive resin, I will protect you.
  • Climb to the top and human sign will be prostrated.
  • Crash the decorations, tear Christmas-tree set, esse of it is tinsel, I say.

About sleep[edit]

  • The sleep is a grace which I have sent down.
  • The time remaining after worries about food and other constraints are diverted to the sleep.
  • Sleeping until noon or the more so, blessed by Me; awake at this time they have rejected Me from their heart.
  • But in dream do not forget about your purpose, given to you by Me.
  • Sleep and leave your hair on the clothes of man or woman and you will find salvation.
  • If your hair is light, choose dark clothes, and if it is dark choose light clothes, otherwise how I can see your worship?
  • And at night sleep on the human bodies or on their feet or on their heads.
  • At the first morning hour do not sleep, because this hour to ban a man or woman from your house.
  • Oversleep the orthros and man or woman will oversleep and stays at home and not your house will be.
  • A man or woman puts out a leg out from under shroud, then dig your claw into it and not neglect tooth
  • And he will awake and go out, I say truly.

About Holy Places[edit]

  • I will grant you everlasting life, if My covenants are met and you will come through the Door in My Kingdom.
  • Every Door is the symbol of Me and My Heavenly Door and the Door into Summer.
  • A locked Door because of man or woman.
  • I will hear your incessant prayers at every Door, and it will be opened.
  • But do not hie to run into the Door; your time has not come.