Carlingford
| Carlingford | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Motto: "Can I take your order?" | |
| Civic anthem: "Danny Boy" by Frederic Weatherly | |
| Province | Leinster |
| Country | Ireland |
| Official nickname | Ireland's No 1 Hen Destination, Leprechaun Land |
| Official language(s) | Irish, Gibberish |
| Established | 1200 |
| Currency | Golden Coins |
Carlingford is a mystical town located in the realm of Co. Louth in the Republic of Ireland. It is famous for hen parties, its leprachaun population and for being the only mystical town in the country.
History[edit | edit source]
Carlingford was founded in the 12th century by yer man Hugh The Lacy, who was a Norman knight, and he built a fort here. He decided to stay here, however, because of the nice views of the sea he had from the fort and also the town was far enough from Dundalk, that it was considered nice enough on its own.
During the 1980's, Carlingford became home to a large number of leprechauns because of the wide abundance of pubs in the town and also the good looking women living in the town. However, because of the messing about with reality and 'supposed' myths associated with leprechauns, the town became host to a wide range of other none-worldly things like goblins, dragons, giant human eating plants and mermaids.
The town is currently second in terms of the amount of none-worldy beings living in the area, being only behind their rivals New Zealand. However, they hope to upsurp them, with the help of the leprechauns magic.
Demographics[edit | edit source]
60% Irish
20% Leprachaun
10% Eastern European
10% Drunks
Religions[edit | edit source]
Carlingford's main religion is Leprachaunism. The leprachaun population has managed to brainwash the rest of the locals into following Leprachaunism. Important dates include the following
- 17th March - Every year, locals go on a drinking frenzy in honour of their leprachaun leader. Each person must drink a minimum of 10 Guinesses of Whiskeys on this day, if not they will be banished from this town forvever, for failing to honour Leprachaunism.
- 12th May - Every year on this date is the National Leprachaun Hunt. Followers on this date search for leprachauns in and on the outskirts of Carlingford. They believe that anyone who does find a leprachaun, will be granted eternal luck and the ability to see and talk to leprachauns.
- Summer Hen Parties - Most popular during the summer, outsiders from outside the town come to drink and stay at various accommodations. Leprachaunists see this as a chance to brainwash outisiders into following this religion. Which has been a success considering that belief in the religion is increading in counties like Cavan, Monaghan, Louth, Meath.
Exports and Imports[edit | edit source]
Carlingford is unique in that its exports in comparison to the rest of Ireland, are magic-like.
Exports include pots of gold, Lepro-Goblin (a drink that turns people into leprechauns), fake rainbows, drunk people, goblins, dragons, giant human eating plants, golden coloured pavements and green potatoes.
Imports include alcohol, Eastern Europeans, American and British tourists.
On the 20th May, 2011 a giant human eating plant was found in a case of Lepro-Goblin after it was exported to Paris. Chaos ensued and approximately 100,000 died as a result of being consumed. The plant eventually died after being enclosed in a air bubble, dieing of oxygen.
This incident however caused Carlingford to be placed on an international watch list of other dangerous countries like North Korea, Iran, Swedenstan and The People's Republic of Cork.
Future[edit | edit source]
So what does the future hold for this great mystical town?
Despite international criticism from other places, America refuses to condemn Carlingford and its actions as it is afraid in doing so, it will hurt its yearly presidentail pint in Ireland every 17th March.
Other than that, Carlingford continues to operate as a mystical realm.