Boomerang
“You try to get rid of it... but it keeps coming back...”
“I think, sleep, and eat boomerangs.”
Boomerang is the name given to an object that is thrown away but comes back. It can exist in a variety of shapes and sizes. In ancient times -- let's say, before The Simpsons -- boomerangs were used for five purposes: hunting, battles (honor battles, see The Last Samurai), sporting events, to give an ambiguous personality (like a ninja), and the not so announced use but so highly acclaimed scratching of itchy backs.
Principles Of Rhythmic Notch[edit | edit source]
Only a few years ago scientists who study matter, force, energy, motion, and the way they relate to one another and to comets, discovered the physical principles governing the perpetually returning behavior of the boomerang. They also discovered the deflow (see unflow)of the universe...but, er, sorry for the digression. Anyway, after intensive analysis carried out by 2345 scientists and costing over 2.4 million dollars they concluded that 95% of the internet content is PORN, or Principles Of Rhythmic Notch. After the Nobel Prize award, they asked themselves, WHY?
They have found no answer.
The Theory of PORN[edit | edit source]
So time passed, and passed, and two scientists came to the United States from a far-away land... lets call it... El Salvador. Their names were Dr. Al and Dr. Mond. They came, and then got caught, beaten with lead pipes, and deported. But two other scientist came, not from El Salvador, but from Uruguay. They came with a theory and documentation. They called the theory: "The Theory of PORN". And the documentation they called VISA. They thought their theory would solve the WHY problem, ie, explain the high content of PORN in the internet. They found that the Principles Of Rhytmic Notch, or PORN, was related to the boomerang effect of -- surprising as it may seem to the untrained eye -- boomerangs.
They have now solved the boomerang problem. But WHY was PORN found in such high levels in the internet? They ponderized a bit, went to the movies, ate some cake, scratched themselves, and then eventually switched on MTV. While watching Shakira's Hips the mid-39-1/2-year-old Uraguayans found the solution. The reason why so much PORN is found in the Internet is do to the fascination with boomerangs during the middle ages.
Middle Syndrome[edit | edit source]
The fascination for boomerangs is called the "Middle Syndrome". Its name was derived from their age, seeing as how they were middle-39-1/2-aged men. And their girlfriends full names: Syndie Drome or as her birth certificate shows, Sindy Mata la Vaca. (They're from Uruguay). And yes... not all scientists are gay. They may have the same girlfriend, but they're not gay. Maybe queer, but certainly not gay. Maybe strange, but not gay. Maybe fruity, but not gay. Maybe they enjoy ass, but they are not gay.
Effects of the Middle Syndrome[edit | edit source]
The effects of the "Middle Syndrome" caused an exuberant attraction towards boomerangs, which shows in a dramatic way on the Internets. That seems to be everything that people talk about, and for those unwilling to believe that your mind and everyone you may or may not know thinks, sleeps, and eats boomerangs. If this is not true, then explain why are you reading about boomerangs?