Acre

Non-Existent State of Acre

Flag of Acre after being vandalized
Motto	Being ignored by everyone since 1903
Official language	Languages spoken by indigenous people
Capital	White River
State Governor	Nobody
Major industries	....
Exports	....

Acre, is a standardised unit of measurement consisting of 4046 square metres of Brazilian rainforest. As of 2026, it is the only unit of measurement containing a governor, a capital city and a timezone. The Acre is a very warm and humid unit of measurement much like Brazil. The Acre is most commonly used to measure the amount of rubber in a specific plot of land.

History

Early years

In 1824 Brazilians sought to standardise the Acre to better count how many rubber trees there were. The Acre has existed for many decades but its value was constantly changing depending on which country said so. At the start of its existence, Acre was composed of exactly one republic and 4.5 Spaniards. This made the Acre extremely difficult to utilise primarily due to the mathematical complexity of multiplying 0.5 Spaniards by a square metre. The Acre’s value had also changed so much that people didn’t know if it comprised Bolivians, Peruvians or Spaniards.

Independence

The rubber workers, tired of the overly complex value of the Acre, decided they would finally standardise the Acre. According to witnesses, “workers rebelled like punk rock singers.” The workers then attempted to overthrow the government saying “we want a standardized Acre!”. With the help of Brazilian governors, Acre became independent. Yay! They finally got rid of forced labor and became an independent country, didn't they? Well... no. The country lasted a miserable 8 months. But then it was recreated... only to end again. But then recreated again... but it ended once more. Some time later, after several agreements, Acre became a state of Brazil.

Finally, an autonomous state!

Although Acre became a state in 1904, it was still dependent on the government, like a baby dependent on its mother. It only achieved true autonomy in the 1930s.

21st century

Well, little has changed in Acre this century. Acre even changed its time zones and became less isolated. But apart from that, it hasn't changed much.

Geography

Acre is also known as "Brazil's ass".

Acre occupies an area of 10 km² and borders Amazonas and Rondônia, and also Bolivia and Peru.

The state is very hot; the Sahara Desert is cold compared to the temperature in Acre. It rarely rains there either. And that's all, folks!

Demography

Here are some statistics about the demographics of Acre:

• 1001 people live in Acre
• And 99% of those 1001 people are indigenous, and 1% of those 1001 people are not indigenous
• 97% of the people who live in Acre live in forests

Famous people from Acre

Yes, believe it or not, Acre has famous people. Some famous people from Acre:

• Chico Mendes, an unknown man who protected the forests, was assassinated
• And no one else

Economy

The economy of Acre is quite small. The state's GDP is approximately 10 reais, which is equivalent to 1.88 dollars. Acre also has an industrial GDP of 1 real, which is equivalent to 0.19 dollars, and the inhabitants have a salary of 5 reais, which is equivalent to 0.94 dollars.

Infrastructure

Health

Acre has a very broken infrastructure when it comes to healthcare. The state has only 20 hospitals; in addition, Acre has a high infant mortality rate, partly because there are strange creatures that spread diseases in the unexplored forests of Acre. But the people of Acre still think they have good health...

Education

Acre has few schools; it's rare to find one there. 70% of the population is illiterate precisely because of this. And furthermore, Acre only has 2 universities.

Culture

And does this state have a culture? Acre has a rich culture, partly because it is inhabited by indigenous people, and indigenous culture is extensive.

Culinary

The inhabitants of Acre eat exotic foods that include:

• Poop pie
• Raw fish
• Vomit
• Pee soup
• and other extremely delicious foods!

Memes about Acre

For no apparent reason, Brazilians have developed a mania for making memes about Acre. These memes usually include phrases like "Acre is a lie!", "Dinosaurs live in Acre," and "Acre doesn't exist." To this day, people are still trying to figure out what's so funny about these memes.