HowTo:Hack Uncyclopedia

Hey, you here alone? Good. Sure there's nobody else around? OK, then we'll begin. Contained in this article are details on how to access, edit and beet off (with a fresh beet, don't use an old one) on some of the most highly guarded information known to man: ie. that contained on Uncyclopedia. Only read on if you're sure you can handle the unadulterated secrecy and have the hacking skills of a lumberjack. Still interested? Well, OK...OH SHIT...FBI!

The Password

The password to Uncyclopedia may or may not be qweasd. (Note: it is.)

Hacking Uncyclopedia

Beet off as you blank pages. It feels as good as that hanging yourself trick that Killed Bill.

• Step 1: Go to http://en.uncyclopedia.co/.
• Step 2: Go to one of the following pages:
  • Uncyclopedia:Supersecret admin page
  • Special:Listusers/sysop and select a random name from the list, any one that takes your fancy.
• Step 3: Click the 'edit' tab from the top toolbar.
• Step 4: Select all of the text on the page. Hit Delete.
• Step 5: Enter 'Roman Dog Bird is a nigger' into the edit box. Then insert the name of one of your sexier classmates and/or your most hated enemy.

Note: Never, under any circumstances enter the name of an actual homosexual person here.

• Step 6: Insert a reference to Sweden, Norway or the Kennedy family.
• Step 7: Place wikilinks to Goa Tse.
• Step 8: Click 'Save Changes'. Grin Smugly.
• Step 9: Grin more smugly. Beet off again. Then turn off your computer and consider why you still live in your mother's basement. After that, cry a little inside when you for a moment consider the emptiness of your existence, and then weep gently because the only girl who ever loved you is your mother and she recently found your pornography, and so who knows? Even that might be off.

Congratulations. You have now hacked Uncyclopedia. You are now at the peak of your existence. Now get back to masturbating, my good sir, but refresh your beet.

Wait, What do I do next?

Are you still here? Well, once you've gained access to the Top Secret Information, you will be a marked man/woman/idiot. Certain occurrences will now follow.

• Step 10: You will get blocked for uncyclopedia for all eternity. "No, what did I do, I'm a fliippity flipper! "
• Step 11: Run as far away from your computer as you can. "No, I wanna play 24/7!"
• Step 12: Change computer station.
• Step 13: Go back to step 1 and repeat. Beet and hack, beet and hack, all day long.

Note: the above methods only work on Uncyclopedia. Hacking any other wiki will not get you banned from that wiki, they will just lol and wait for you to do it again. Go on, try it at Wikipedia, they actually like blankers over there and won't mind very much at all.

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Warning: You did not read this article. It does not exist. Shhh. Now Bugger Off. And don't say anything to anybody or you will be huffed.

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See also

• HowTo:Get Banned
• Hacking

Original IRC conversation

 

<AcidAmmo> so, i'm thinking of creating an article named [[Hack Uncyclopedia!]]
<Mandaliet> BLEAH!
|<--  Mandaliet has left irc.freenode.net ()
<AcidAmmo> i guess mandy doesn't like it
<Hindleyite1> There is already a 'hacks' page...
<Hindleyite1> But I presume you plan to do something different to that
<Hindleyite1> What's the general gist of the idea?
<AcidAmmo> A manual
<AcidAmmo> (fake, of course)
<AcidAmmo> Step by step of how to hack Uncyc.
<sannse> 1. click "edit"
<Hindleyite1> He heh... like it...
<Mhaille> 2. Add the words "xxxxxxx is gay"
<AcidAmmo> 3. add links to goatse.cx
<Mhaille> 4. Sign User:Chronarion
<Mhaille> 5. Hide
<sannse> 6. get blocked for all eternity
<AcidAmmo> 6. go back to encyclopedia dramatica
<sannse> 6. there are too many stage sixes
<Hindleyite1> 7. Avoid the FBI...

• Original IRC conversation