User talk:JGordon

Welcome!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Hello, JGordon, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for registering an account. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

Chief welcomes you!

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example,User:JGordon/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. You can also look into, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program.

OK, I know you may have seen this message on lots of other people's pages, but I still had to come to your page to leave it here. If you have absolutely any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to ask me here.

Here are a couple of important things that you should bear in mind as a brand new user, especially if you can't be bothered reading the beginner's guide.

• Read HTBFANJS I guarantee it will be a huge help to you and will stop your early efforts being deleted on sight by administrators.
• If you want to create an article, and you wanted to call it Bleurgh, to create it in your user space you would just make the address bar look like this: www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/User:(Your user-name here)/Bleurgh. Please don't create it on this page as this is where other users can contact you.
• Always remember rule 2 and be constructive and civil at all times. Honestly, it works (mostly) and it won't get you banned.
• Have fun, that is after all why we are all here.

Again, welcome!  ChiefjusticeDS 18:36, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Hi

Dude... Some of your edits are great. Some suck balls. Could you please check out HTBFANJS to spot the difference. Cheers. MrN 15:56, Nov 3

Case in point, your edit to Penis sucked balls. I see you have made similar edits to two other articles about naughty bits. None of these articles needed an additional quote, and I don't care what Anne Hathaway lets her boyfriend do. I'll revert Penis; why don't you revert the other two. Spıke ¬  22:24 12-Feb-10

PS--Never mind. Spıke ¬  23:10 12-Feb-10

Ninja star!

...That means you should stop that and make larger/fewer edits, by the way. Reverse psychology. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 05:02, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

See up there?

Those people who are offering nice advice to you? Now... I'm telling you. Read HTBFANJS. If your edits don't improve I will give you a nice break from editing here so that you have lots of time to read it. If you want that in a way which is more simple to understand... Make better edits or I will block you for a while. READ HTBFANJS. NOW. MrN 22:33, Feb 12

Just in case...

Just in case anyone gets curious about JGordon's many edits involving Christian Bale, this is NOT me using a sockpuppet. --Matfen 12:31, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Quotes

Adding quotes to articles is usually not necessary. Current consensus is that most articles are actually better off WITHOUT a quote. Generally, no more than 2 or 3 quotes per article, so please don't add any more quotes if the article already has three. You can propose quotes on the talk page if you think they are REALLY good though. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:57, August 15, 2010 (UTC)