User talk:Fresh meat

Welcome! As you can see from this diagram we have a very organized way of doing things around here. Hello, Fresh meat! I'm Zana Dark, and I've noticed some of your recent contributions. I do hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets: The Beginner's Guide - a very useful, step by step guide. Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends. How to be funny and not just stupid -besides a good read, it pretty much sums everything up. If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. I'm presuming you can read, of course. You can read, can't you? For more information about Uncyclopedia you can also try: About Uncyclopedia; The Five Pliers of Uncyclopedia; Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Uncyclopedia, But Were Afraid to Ask; Our In-Jokes Page in case you ever get confused; and the Help Pages for help with a specific issue. There is also the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob Program. It's a scheme that is designed to bring experienced editors straight to you. You can ask anyone from our list of available mentors if they'll adopt you on their talkpage. I happen to be one, so if you want, you could just ask me. When posting on forum pages, talk pages, etc., please sign your name by typing four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date, and avoid the aggravation that goes along with unsigned comments. Writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express yourself. To get started, it's recommended that you create it in your userspace (for example, User:Fresh meat/Articles) so you can edit at your leisure. If you decide to create articles in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above to avoid instant deletion, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well. So once again, welcome to Uncyclopedia, and have a great time! --~Formerly Annoying Crap09:15, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Your Request

I'd be happy to help. What did you need? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 09:52, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

yo

thanks for the votes on my stuff man...i been joined for like 2 weeks or something so i'm still trying to make a name for myself and the votes are appreciated...and look bro if you want help you went to the right person Zana Dark knows her shit...how do you think i got nominated? she edited all MY shit...alright dude lates-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 01:55, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Haha, no prob, but I'm actually a chick. I hope you win, I really like How to Take a Dump! Fresh meat 02:37, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

HA my baddd babe and hey thanks alot let me know when you write something i'd love to read it-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 22:40, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Your New and Improved Signature

I made you a signature you can edit. User:Fresh meat/sig To use it, in your preferences click the raw signatures link and paste this code into your 'nickname' field: {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Fresh meat/sig}}<small>  {{subst:CURRENTTIME}} {{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}</small>

Looks like this right now:  TALK  FRESH MEAT  ♥ talk to me

And you can also read this to learn more about what other people think your signature should look like!

Hope you like, and enjoy!!! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 04:03, 17 March 2009

Thank you so much! I am still getting stuff ready for the meat article. I will try to write it soon.  TALK  FRESH MEAT  ♥ talk to me 04:46 17 March 2009

Cool! I am glad you like it.. One more thing: because I added the timestamp to your sig, from now on sign using only three tildes, like so: ~~~ ~Formerly Annoying Crap 04:48, 17 March 2009

In grongitude

 In gratitude for your vote  

  The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"  

Understandably, you voted for my article for featuring. Although your "for" vote was not extraordinary, as the article's genius was beyond question, it is still appropriate to acknowledge your dutiful participation in the process.

So, in gratitude for your vote, I will dedicate my next coma to you. Thank you.

The following coma causes are available for this honor. Please indicate below this template which one you would like me to dedicate to your user name.

Overdose Car crash Beating Obscure, easily misdiagnosed illness

Douche

Hey, you. I have a huge penis. Hey, I guess you want to thank me for allowing you to read something by me. Unfortunately for you, I am currently having sex with your girlfriend. She says, "Hi <insert name here>!" Did I mention how she loves my cock. By the way, my penis is huge. Good bye, peasant! And I've got a huge cock.

--MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:20, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

Oi! My mate, Petie would just like to thank you! Why, only fuck knows, I’m just the messenger – don’t shoot me! Cos that’s the problem with you people, you’ve all got it out for us, just cos we don’t have jobs you think we’re like, or even are, the scum of the Earth! And we’re not, you know, we’re people too. Just because we don’t have your fancy foreign cars and, fuckin’, sued shoes or whatever. We’re only out of pocket because you’ve taken all the fuckin’ jobs first! If it bothers you so much why don’t you donate your job to Oxfam and we could pick it up for bargain prices? Eh? Bet you don’t like that idea though because then we’d be the ones looking down on you! you fucking, lazy, tax-stealing, jobless scum!

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:36 18 May 2009

Hey

You're back! Thanks, for the meat idea, but I haven't really done anything with it. (Sorry!) How's things? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:03, 24 June 2009

cyberbullying removed

dreadfully sorry for the interruption, just needed to remove some knucklehead's dickery. carry on. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:27, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

In Gratitude

Good to see you're still around. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 09:55, 17 December 2009

And an extra special...

Thanks for the nom. =D ~Formerly Annoying Crap 06:08, 8 January 2010

Return of the Chopper

The Meat Man Woman returns! You have come back to examine the entrails? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:08, May 9, 2011 (UTC)

Meat is my homie, she mostly edits on random Sundays only. It's a religious thing. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:26, 22 May 2011

what she said. xD  TALK  FRESH MEAT  ♥ talk to me 01:12 23 May 2011

Sincere thanks for supporting one or more of these articles on VFH:

• Guru Maharaj Ji
• Don Martin
• Blue-ringed octopus
• Lunar Launch (with Socky)
• 2012 (with MrN)

like, really!--Funnybony    20:32, May 29

 

 ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Aug 5 '12 13:14 (UTC)

It's beginning to look a lot like…

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

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Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?

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Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 14:28, 13 December 2021