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Current time: 8:11am, 15 March 2018 UTC
Time until switchover: 16 hours (refresh)

Wednesday, 14 March (-1 day) Thursday, 15 March (today's feature) Friday, 16 March (+1 day) Saturday, 17 March (+2 days) Sunday, 18 March (+3 days)
Stephen Hawking ran over my cat No current feature. Tell an admin on IRC. No feature queued No feature queued No feature queued
RIP you cat killing bastard

It's true! Why do people always laugh at me when I tell them? Stop laughing, dammit! I'm serious. Deadly serious. It was a tabby named Whiskers. I named it that because it had whiskers. Stephen Hawking ran over my cat.

Yes, the guy you're thinking of is the very same guy that I'm talking about. This isn't all that complicated. The genius guy. Yes, that's the one. I'm still shocked myself. Surprised even. My cat, needless to say, was flabbergasted at the time. Stephen Hawking ran over my cat.

My neighbour saw it. Ask him! He's in the house that's beside my house. No, the other one. He knows. Swear to God. Just ask him and he'll tell you what he saw.

What? My neighbour denies that he saw anything? Are you sure? Damnit, Stephen Friggin' Hawking must've got to him. It did happen, I tell ya'. Did! I don't care that my neighbour denies everything. (Full article...)