- 441 BC - Oedipus Rex, after learning the awful truth about his wife/mother, kills her and marries his father instead.
- 218 BC - Hannibal crosses the Alps and right as he makes it to Italy, realizes he could have just taken the ferry.
- 1948 - Time Magazine's printing press malfunctions: time is paused for five hours and twenty-three minutes before resuming.
- 1975 - Humpty Dumpty falls off the Berlin Wall, all the King's horses and all the King's men are executed by Soviets for being counterrevolutionaries.
- 1991 - Vegetables banned from the White House after George H. W. Bush discovers illicit affair between Barbara Bush and a man with severe cerebral palsy.
- 2014 - You have an erotic dream about your brother, you can't stand to look at him all day.
- 2017 - A Tyrannosaurus rex is successfully cloned in a Chinese lab, chooses to major in business instead of man-eating to the chagrin of Jurassic Park fans.