UnNews:Republican Presidential candidate stands by populist rhetoric despite racist nature of remarks
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Highly successful businessman, reality TV star and Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump, who is polling 10 points ahead of his closest competitor in the race for the Republican Presidential nomination, and who, in a nationwide poll that has a margin of error ±3, is only 4 points behind a relatively reasonable person who is likely to be nominated by the Democrats, continues to state racist beliefs that are shared by the majority of Americans.
Trump's recent statements exploit two delusional assumptions shared by 61% of registered voters[1]: that citizens of the United States have an exceptionally large number of civil liberties, and that the government could stop terrorism for good if these liberties were only further curtailed. Despite the fact that both assumptions are demonstrably false, the billionaire seemingly has no interest in toning down his rhetoric, almost as if he cares more about winning an election than he does about the accuracy of his claims. He has stated that even the Muslims who are fleeing ISIS are terrorists and should not be allowed to seek asylum in America, a cognitive error based in highly emotional fear of "the other" that is, nonetheless, also made by slightly more than half of all registered voters.[2]
Former Vice President Dick Cheney is shocked. "I don't get it," he said around a table of prominent Republicans at a fundraiser. "Where does his money come from? I've had to kill millions of Arab children just to live in the amount of comfort I enjoy, and the only way I have been able to do this has been by covering it in layers upon layers of bullshit. He's making what I do look easy. He's either as stupid as the average American, or he is not thinking very far ahead at all. You can't just go and openly state the primary reason our party has been drawing so much support, money and popularity ever since the candidacy of Barry Goldwater. That's just not how you're supposed to do it. There is an art to it, a finesse. He's making us look like a bunch of racists. I mean, we are obviously, but he doesn't have to spell it out on a big billboard. We're not the Westboro Baptist Church, we don't live in a compound in the middle of buttf– uhhh, I mean, the Sunflower State. We have to interact with non-white people every day in American public life, which is already awkward enough as it is, god damnit! Err, no offense, Dr. Carson. You're one of the good ones. Oh boy."
Democrats have, predictably, gone on the attack. Hillary Clinton remarked, "Donald Trump is only further demonstrating what a bigot he is, which should have been obvious in his first Presidential campaign, when he capitalized on 'birther' myths that were originally spread by an amoral white Democratic challenger of Barack Obama, whose name I do not need to mention."
Unanointed candidate Bernie Sanders could probably be reached for comment, but UnNews simply didn't have enough time.