UnNews:2010 World Cup

On this page, UnNews reporters from around the world try to put an artistic shine on the fact that their national team got eliminated from the World Cup. From the Chief • Audio • Podcast • Goldstein Award • Foolitzer Prize • Ask Cthulhu • Ask Hal 9000 • Tech Support Dutch clogs no match for Spanish bull JOHANNESBURG, South Africa -- The determined, clog-footed Dutch team were no match for a lot of Spanish bull at the football World Cup final. The Spanish team, who had already been voted the 'sexiest passers of the ball' since the days of Pele, were shocked that the Dutch aimed for the crotch instead of the ball. » Full story Latest sports stories: 20 August Paul the Octopus retires from retiring 14 July Paul the Octopus considers offer from Uncyclopedia 12 July Dutch clogs no match for Spanish bull 11 July Television commentators stock up with cliches for World Cup Final today 10 July Soccer fans shun art for hookers 8 July Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! German mollusc to join Match of the Day pundit team Psychic Octopus to be offered new identity if Spain lose World Cup final 7 July Germany Plans invasion of Spain, Netherlands next? 6 July Germany not fearing over next match-up 5 July Pope wore a German football shirt as he watched Argentina lose in World Cup 3 July Jabulani ball causes more distress 2 July Scientists predict Diego Maradona will erupt before the end of the World Cup 30 June England players "feared for their lives" over wildly spinning ball 28 June New sports crime tribunal to try England's football flops 27 June England's fallen football stars seek asylum United States robbed of World Cup 25 June Italians stock up on rotten vegetables to aim at their returning football team 23 June English excuse for not winning the 2010 football World Cup is revealed South Africa to change name to Vuvuzela 22 June North Korea purge football team after 7-0 humiliation 21 June French team face guillotine if they fail in World Cup 19 June America: Oh, You mean 'Soccer'! Referees again dictate outcome of match 18 June Shrek blamed as Team Fairlyland flop at the Surreal World Cup 13 June Soccer game ends in tie 12 June Koreans furious after goal not shown 11 June Scientists dampen World Cup enthusiasm by concluding football really is just 22 men running around a field chasing a ball World Cup Fever leads to mass pneumonia 21 April Vatican to field a football team in religious World Cup

Write a new UnNews story: Type your desired headline and then click on the button. Read Me First | Style Guide | Newsroom Scientists predict Diego Maradona will erupt before the end of the World Cup CAPE TOWN, South Africa -- Worried scientists predict that the famous Diego Maradona volcano is close to erupting all over the football pitch on Saturday, July 3rd, when Argentina play Germany in the World Cup here. » Full story Paul the Octopus considers offer from Uncyclopedia OBERHAUSEN, Germany -- Paul the Psychic Octopus, who successfully predicted the winner of the 2010 World Cup, is said to be considering an offer from an alleged humor/humour website to join them as a guest columnist. » Full story World Cup on UnNews Audio 27 Jun: United States robbed of World Cup 3:16, 2.25 Mb 19 Jun: Referees again dictate outcome of match 3:39, 2.52 Mb 13 Jun: Soccer game ends in tie 3:30, 2.41 Mb 21 Apr: Vatican to field a football team in the Religious World Cup 3:19, 2.28 Mb

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