UnNews:Koreans furious after goal not shown

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

12 June 2010

Now it will never be known who won the Car Football Finals.

SEOUL, South Korea -- Fans across South Korea were up in arms today after a TV station interrupted a Hyundai car advert and switched to members of the English national football team celebrating a goal in their World Cup match.

Viewers reported that around half-time the coverage had suddenly switched away from the advert to the football match. The coverage, in a move sure to anger millions of Koreans, did not subsequently return to the advert.

The advert, which showed a mock five-a-side football game between small Hyundai family cars--painted in the colours of respected world powers Brazil and Argentina, was reaching a climactic point when the ITV broadcast showed several people hugging Steven Gerrard after he had scored some unimportant goal somewhere in Africa.

"Outraged, I was!" screamed a local who did not wish to be named. "That Hyundai Brazil No. 4 was clean through on goal, and now we'll never know what happened. Who knows if it scored? It'll be one of those questions that plagues humanity for centuries. Instead, we got to see some dudes hugging. Who really cares about that? ITV certainly shouldn't."

A Seoul native said: "Making sure adverts reach their proper conclusion is what I watch TV for. Let's face it, they're more entertaining than any actual programs at this point. Shame on ITV for trying to force this "Human World Cup" onto us. We want to know who won the car version, damn it!"

English people also criticised the move. One Sun reader told UnNews that "England winning the World Cup is a foregone conclusion" and that there is thus "no point in bothering to watch the matches, since we're so awesome we know we'll win. Let the adverts finish, I don't care. Our World Cup victory has already been preordained by The Lord Terry Venables."

Strangely enough, the interruption was only contained in ITV's high-definition feed, the regular coverage being uninterrupted. This had led to calls of discrimination, with some believing that ITV feels that the Hyundais are only ready for standard definition. Hyundai have refuted this, saying that "our seven year warranties are crystal clear--they warrant high definition, no pun intended."

ITV, based in England, declined to comment on the error, but said that it would "roll out Adrian Chiles to bore you until you forget about our massive cock up" and that it would "focus on providing World Cup coverage exactly one thousandth as good as the BBC's."

Sources

• "ITV misses goal" ITV1 HD, 12 June, 2006