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Morbius is one of the first of soon-to-be many antihero-based films, released in 2022. Based on an obscure manga, filmed in an underground cesspit, produced by Columbia Pictures "in association" with Marvel and distributed by Sony, Morbius stars everybody's favorite celebrity, alleged pedo, and clown (no, really) Jared Leto as the eponymous Dr. Michael Morbius Morbin', a personality noteworthy for engaging in esoteric acts of manslaughter, in other words, morbing – a term that has since become to define thriving accomplishment, in honor of the film's performance and what Morbius does in Morbius. Alongside Leto, stars Matt Smith, who plays our main antagonist, and amongst others, John Doe, Man and other above-the-line pseudonymous individuals from Leto's alleged "cult".

Morbius came into fruition in 2019 following the success of Sony's Venom, the first film in a separate "universe" of films of their own constructed to further convolute that of Marvel's, almost as if the two franchises were divorced parents. This is overt given that Morbius has been claimed by Sony to be adjacent to another film thence. Furthermore, despite Sony's affirmation of this trilogy merely consisting of films regarding your perhaps-not-friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, Morbius lacks any clear interrelation thereof aside from in the marketing, but this was all just done to get the fans and commentators in on the unsuspected fever. Morbius, during production, was postponed some innumerable (read: six) times due to the spontaneous intercourse with a bat a pseudonymous actor on set engaged in during filming, hence the expanse of the COVID epidemic. (Full article...)

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Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland (Pictured)
Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
Some mega pop star and her boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Trump presents new science project to Cabinet
Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures
Trump fires Zakk Wylde
Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
Epstein list predictions

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys

Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet sloth • Joe Burrow's toe • Robert Redford

Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' and Cincinnati Bengals' seasons • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump • Windows 10

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Did You Know? No, you didn't.

... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)

... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
... that the butler did it?
... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
...that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?

Today's moccasins

September 21: Cola Wars Armistice Day

454 - Roman Emperor Valentinian III assassinates his general Aëtius after a dispute over the merits of Coke and Pepsi.
1780 - American Revolutionary War: Benedict Arnold gives the British the plans to West Point and the secrets to carbonation.
1952 - Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are executed by the Coca-Cola company after leaking their secret formula to Pepsi.
1986 - Colonel Sanders surrenders his forces to PepsiCo at the Battle of Kentucky.
2006 - Royal Crown Cola declares war on Pepsi Cola and Coca Cola, proclaiming "Death to the American Capitalist Swine!"
2008 - We completely forget to reference the Earth, Wind and Fire song "September" in lieu of some cola related nonsense, thereby revealing our utter lack of culture.

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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,687 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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