HowTo:Install Windows Vista

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The logo of Vista.

You may see Windows XP as the best Windows ever. Well, Windows Vista is obviously better with the shit that it has. For example, the BSOD, the crashes, the slow to run applications, and more!

What Windows Vista look like.
What Windows XP looks like.

But you can't install it? Well this is what this article is for! It's as easy as stealing bases with a tooth pick while invading Russia with grain of sand. The level for a person's IQ for this must on par with God's IQ.

The specs for Vista[edit | edit source]

What you need for Windows Vista to run is the following...

  • Nvida Sexy T.I.T.S GFX with the Nvida Play-Doh Play feature enabled to be able to Pee at 60 fps, ($120 if used)
  • Intel i7 69th gen processor, ($299,999 must be new/unopened)
  • 94 gigabytes of RAM, ($420 cheapest price at Tesco)
  • Windows Vista (duh), (Ultimate costs $190)
  • A floppy drive, ($13.37 from common antique stores)
  • A PC case that came from the getto, (Depends on who you're buying from so prices may vary)
  • A cock, (free of cost unless trans-gender or amputated for peeing in 60 fps)
  • A suck my A.S.S Ethernet portal, ($40.000 advanced scratchmyballs technology™ makes it not an Ethernet connector and too revolutionary to be bought on Newegg.)
  • A Microsoft Fan, (shove that guy in the machine)
  • An Experienced nerd from school, (kick him out of the house after you're done)
  • Advanced DDR 9 RMD (RockMyDick Technology) Motherboard, ($1,000,000 GTA Online in-game money for low budget edition)
Tip:
Make sure you shove everything in. Connecting wires will result in HDD failure
  • MS DOS 4.20 ($29.99 at Best Buy)
  • And a harddrive that have at least 17TB of memory.

How to Install[edit | edit source]

Ok so now with all of your shit that would be equivalent to an OP gaming PC for Windows 7, we can now go ahead and install this perfect Operating system

Step 1, Install MS DOS 4.20[edit | edit source]

To do this, insert the floppy disk and set it up.

Step 2, format the harddrive[edit | edit source]

The main partiton for the Harddrive has to be formated so that way it can actually handle the Hell applications for the Red Screen of Death. You do this by typing in the following...

C:\User Files\> format C:\ partiton 0

Step 3, install Vista from MS DOS[edit | edit source]

Insert the Windows Vista compatibility disk for MS DOS into the floppy drive. Then navigate to...

D:\Vista_Installer_For_Dos.exe

This will launch a text-based program that will install the graphics and get the Nvida Sexy T.I.T.S. to start doing it's job and the mouse.

Step 4, restart[edit | edit source]

After it installs some stuff, it'll ask you to restart by using the C4 shortcut (CTRL-ALT-C4 or Shit-D)

Tip:
You need the C4 driver for the shortcut to work.

Step 5, install Vista[edit | edit source]

After blowing up your computer, It'll overwrite MS DOS' 7,000,000 worded essay which will cause itself to have a nuclear meltdown. You should see a slight increase of radiation in your room. Just ignore it and Install Vista by launching the graphical setup which will wipe everything in the computer.

Step 6, restart your computer again[edit | edit source]

Just manually restart it by pressing the power button.

Tip:
Insert your floppy into the slot for better results and decreases the chance of HDD deletion because you didn't activate Windows yet.

Step 7, wait about 2 days[edit | edit source]

Setup uses a lot of resources to run so it'll lag a lot. Just have patience.

Step 8, Setup Windows Vista to something you don't like[edit | edit source]

For Vista, you're gonna need to set up the UnVirus option, the UnFirewall, and make sure you choose anything that says the first 2 letters "Un."

Congrats[edit | edit source]

You are now ready to surf the Internet on Windows Vista, take a piss in 60 fps, earn level obesity in Runescape, file your taxes, interrupt normal broadcasting, install some freeware purchase some stuff. and some other shit.

DramaticQuestionMark.png
Did you know peeing in 30 fps or lower will result in intense lag spikes?

Notes[edit | edit source]

  • There is a bug on the Nvida Sexy T.I.T.S that if you enable the Play-Doh-Play feature and then pee at 60 fps, Steve Ballmer will invade your house and take an incredible shit on your Sexy T.I.T.S. which will result in a computer crash. To fix this, pee at 120 fps.
  • the approximate cost of the stuff to make Vista run is $104,279,236. (Most of the cost comes from the gaming PC.)
  • You need a C4 driver to have access to the C4 shortcut.
  • The listed instructions are the severely minimum requirements to run this operating system.

Windows logo The best technology of Zork. Only from Microsoft.


• Detect "non-genuine" products

• Gather user information and credit card numbers

• Cripple core system components

• Deploy legal team

• Launch civil litigation


Estimated time:

Forever, or if you give me a cookie, I might shorten it to an hour.



Installing Windows has never been easier easy


All you need to do is phone your local Microsoft Customer Representative, write down a very long set of numbers, type it all in, get an error message, phone our Customer Representative again, adjust a few things, get another very long set of numbers, type
it all in again, install a few drivers, activate Windows again, lather, rinse and repeat.




v • d • e


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