Friends (TV series)
Friends is a controversial reality show depicting the lives of six sociopaths in New York City. It has been criticized for repeated graphic depictions of sex and violence.
Characters[edit | edit source]
The six main characters are:
- Rachel Spleen
Rachel is a narcissistic daughter of rich parents that is unable to do even the most simple of things by herself. She is often stalked by Ross, who he ends up falling in love with due to Stockholm syndrome. After her fashion career failed, Rachel would find a new job in the film industry by co-starring in low-quality "comedy" films directed and produced by international Jewish "celebrity" Adam Sandler.
- Joey Tortellini
Joey is an Italian American actor whose most notable career is starring in a mediocre soap opera that barely anybody has really watched. His best friend is a duck, whom he shares a room with, and it is rumored that they have engaged in inter-species sex while Joey was drunk. On his spare time, Joey is a pornographic film star that goes by the name of Drake Ramoray.
- Phoebe Pussay
Phoebe is a hippy stoner and the famous singer from the hit song Smelly Cat, who has at least 2 views on YouTube. She's also a sex toy tester on her spare time.
- Chandler Bong
Chandler is the most functional person out of the six, being able to maintain an average social life and job without (mostly) fucking it up. His only downside is that he's a closeted humosexual, being unable to keep his mouth shout without at least expulsing a pun or two.
- Monica Yeller
Monica is an OCD-ridden woman that will punch anyone who dares move her jewelry one inch too far. She is the manager of a struggling Long John Silver's restaurant, and is allegued to have killed several clients due to food poisoning.
- Ross Yeller
Ross is the most dangerous and problematic of the cast; being a self-diagnosed psycophath that can kill with cold blood whoever dares to touch his sandwhich. He's also a whiny incel that finds her friend Rachel incredibly hot, stalking her several times.
Season synopses[edit | edit source]
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The series ran for ten grueling seasons, each more shocking than the last.
Season 1[edit | edit source]
Rachel takes a job at a coffee shop and begins poisoning customers. Joey invites his friends to porn shoots, but they are not impressed due to the productions' low budgets. Ross gives up on women and fantasizes about having sex with dinosaurs instead.
Season 2[edit | edit source]
Monica seduces a dentist to persuade him to announce that food from Long John Silver's is good for dental health. Chandler discovers that his new roommate vandalizes Wikipedia in his spare time. Joey lands a job at a big-budget porn studio.
Season 3[edit | edit source]
Rachel begins working at a department store, where she murders customers in fitting rooms. Phoebe must ask for help after a dildo becomes lodged in her anus. Monica utilizes the abundant grease from Long John Silver's to lubricate the dildo enough to remove it.
Season 4[edit | edit source]
Phoebe gets carried away with an ovipositor dildo and inserts so many silicone eggs inside herself that she actually appears pregnant. Ross travels to London to stalk a British woman. Monica begins to market Long John Silver's grease as a sexual lubricant nationwide.
Season 5[edit | edit source]
Ross's misogyny gets him fired from his job. Monica and Chandler begin dating, but Chandler offends his partner by making derogatory Wikipedia edits about Long John Silver's. Joey's porn career suffers when he begins ejaculating blood.
Season 6[edit | edit source]
Joey stars in a porn film during which he penetrates a robot while holding a bowl of macaroni and cheese. Phoebe experiments with using Pottery Barn furniture for sexual purposes. Ross begins stalking a college student.
Season 7[edit | edit source]
Rachel orders a series of cheesecakes to poison, but is dismayed when Chandler eats them first. Chandler proposes to Monica, but Monica loses the ring in a deep fryer. Joey is rehired by his former employer, the major porn studio, but they insist that he receives a penis transplant.
Season 8[edit | edit source]
Rachel begins collecting and proudly displaying the sweaters of her victims. This disturbs her new roommate, Joey, leading Rachel to briefly consider killing him. Phoebe discovers that wearing a strap-on gives her a newfound feeling of confidence and begins wearing one at all times.
Season 9[edit | edit source]
Phoebe is shocked when an AI sex doll proposes to her. Monica and Chandler adopt a piece of fried fish and raise it as a child. Rachel finds many victims on a trip to the Caribbean.
Season 10[edit | edit source]
On the run from authorities, Rachel plans to move to Paris. Ross uses Chandler's Wikipedia account to post hateful content, getting Chandler permanently banned. Phoebe achieves a legendary sextuple-penetration with six extra-large dildos, but not even grease from Long John Silver's can loosen them enough to remove.
Legacy[edit | edit source]
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Friends maintains a large fan following. Many of the world's most successful serial killers, porn stars, and Uncyclopedia editors credit the show's characters as major inspirations for their career choices.
The series is so popular that a spinoff based around Joey failed miserably.
A traveling exhibition, The Friends Experience, promises to immerse guests in the world of the series, or at least offer a few backdrops for selfies. Most visitors survive the exhibition.
Despite its popularity, the series has never officially been released on VHS, DVD, or Blu-Ray due to its extreme violations of pornography laws.