Conservative Party of Canada

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Regressive Conservative Party
CONSERVATIVELOGO.jpg
Political Ideology: Conservatism
Leader: Stephen Harper
Founder: A Great Man
Political Beliefs: Biblical Literalism, Eugenics,

Capitalism

Founded: December 7th, 2003
Number of Seats in Haus: 167
Number of Seats in Senate: way too many
Allied Organizations: KKK, Republican Party, BNP, Nazi Party
Allied Groups: Bible Thumpers, Oil Executives,

Lobbyists, Hillbillies, and not Jews

“Will the Prime Minister finally get something done and do something the former government would not, and cancel the subsidies to big oil and big ass?”

~ Tom Mulcair on Conservatives loving big asses

“In Soviet Russia, You fuck the Conservatives Economy!!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Conserative Economic Policy

The Regressive Conservative Party of Canada is the current authoritarian regime that rules Canada. They are led with an iron fist by Totalitarian Christian fundamental Dictator Stephen Harper. Anyone who disagrees with Harper or the Conservatives' interpretation of the Bible risks imprisonment or execution. The Conservatives came to power democratically in 2006 when they were elected by a dissatisfied Canadian public who were angry with the corrupt Fiberal Party. Once in power, Harper dismantled the Canadian democratic system and installed his own personal dictatorship. He now rules Canada with an iron fist and even party members are afraid to criticize him. The Conservative Party of Canada is closely allied with the Republican Party of the United States. Harper shares Bush's goal of world domination.

Political Beliefs[edit]

Stephen Harper, leader of the Conservatives and Shah of Canada.

The Conservatives are an extreme right wing fascist/capitalist party and have the following political beliefs:

  • A hard-line approach on crime, which involves torturing and executing criminals even for minor offences such as littering
  • Abolishing the monarchy, but still kissing their feet
  • Criminalization of all drugs, including insulin
  • Mandatory sterilization of defective individuals
  • Banning interracial marriage
  • Making Christianity the official state religion
  • Raising taxes on the poor while giving corporations huge tax cuts
  • Branding all opponents Terrorists
  • Turning the armed forces on political opponents
  • A mandatory nationalized day care system in which all children are indoctrinated with Nazi propaganda
  • Making women subservient to men
  • Making gays, non-Christians, and non-whites into social pariahs--then rounding them up into ghettos--then sending them to "work" ;) ;) camps
  • Making opposing the government a hate-crime
  • Making women wear veils at all times, and voting will return to men-only, and abolishing voting within five years
  • Drinking age will be raised to 19/20 within a year, and within 5 years there will be a drinking age of 21, then prohibition
  • Re-instating the death penalty for speaking out against the regime
  • Establishing the "hung, drawn, and quartered" method, in public (and on tv!), as the standard for capital punishment throughout the land
  • Privatizing healthcare and education to ensure that only the rich have access to lifesaving medicine and opportunities for economic advancement.
  • Making sure Canadian foreign policy matches the foreign policy of George W. Bush
  • Making the teaching of evolution illegal
  • Getting the assimilation of Quebec over and done with
  • Recognizing the Prime Minister's God-given authority over his people, and allowing him to establish a blood dynasty
  • Celebrating and supporting White Anglo-Saxon Protestant's manifest destiny in Canada
  • Getting the ethnic cleansing of First Nation people over and done with
  • Making owning a gun mandatory for all white anglo-saxon protestant males in cowboy boots, ages 12 and up
  • Enacting a feuderal land reform and labor program reducing all Chinese immigrants to serfdom ; 1/16 chinese blood suffices to qualify ; all deemed "slit eyed" must provide proof of caucasian ancestry
  • Making the human gene pool a better place
  • Thinking of industrial uses for all the gay bone matter exiting the "work" ;) ;) camps
  • Coalitions are evil and reckless.

Party Leaders[edit]

The Tory Cabinet 1869-78

Below is a list of the leaders of the Conservative Party and defunct parties that make up the Baby Eating Conservative Party of Canada, and the Canadian Reformed Alliance Party.

Conservative Party (35BC to 1942):

Progressive Conservative Party (1942 to 2003):


Refoooooooooooooooooooorm!!!!!11 and Canadian Redneck Western Anti-Same Sex Marriage Reform Senate Alliance (1987-2003):


Conservative Party (today):

See also[edit]


Canadian Politics
Bloc Québécois | Conservative Party of Canada | Conservative Reform Alliance Party | Green Party of Canada | Liberal Party of Canada | New Democratic Party | Communist Party of Canada | Prime Minister of Canada | Canadian Elections | Canadian Constitutional Law | Canada–United States relations