Wheeling Jesuit University/People/The Rhapsodist
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The Rhapsodist is a super villain created by ITS and Residence Life in 2003 for the purpose of absolutely breaking down student morale. Biologically engineered to be one of the most horrifically irritating creatures by Billy Cabra, The Rhapsodist is the latest scourge that Wheeling Jesuit University has to face. Ultimately, The Rhapsodist has but one goal: to utterly and completely destroy the collective wills of each and every member of the WJU community.
Origins[edit | edit source]
As of now, there is little information available as to the origins of The Rhapsodist, although popular theory asserts that he was once a mild-mannered Wheeling Jesuit student himself at one point before being twisted into the form he has currently manifested into. In the weeks leading up to the unearthing of this tragedy, observers have noted that operations at "Codename:ASC" were running at full steam. Presumably, ITS authorities were continually working in the biology labs engineering their finest creation. Others speculate that The Rhapsodist is yet another biproduct of The Stallitron V Incident, the full effects of which have yet to be properly documented.
A second theory is that The Rhapsodist was created as part of El Presidente's "X-TREME D for Donation" plan, or XDD. Possibly, it occurred to El Presidente that if the will of the students was completely broken, he could amass any amount of money from them simply through the power of casual suggestion. This theory, while more appealing to conspiracy theorists, holds no more water than the first, and is likewise as much speculation as the former.
A final, and far more likely, theory is that The Rhapsodist is merely Freddy Mercury.
Powers[edit | edit source]
The full extent of The Rhapsodist's powers are unclear. It is apparent that he is a powerful psychic, able to break into the very essence of human dignity and crush it at its root. Unlike other psychics, however, The Rhapsodist's effectiveness lies in his unusual method of thought transmission - that is, through the medium of carely-crafted poetry. It is difficult to resist the power of his lyrical genius, and victims are often drawn into his spell long before they are even aware of their situation. By that time, however, it is too late, and there is no escape from complete eradication of the soul.
In addition to being well-versed in poetry, The Rhapsodist also knits and plays the organ for church services in his free time.
Weaknesses[edit | edit source]
So far, none have been able to detect any weaknesses in The Rhapsodist's deadly method of attack. However, in a recent paragraph obtained covertly that was found to be written by The Rhapsodist, some military officials believe that they may have found a glitch in his operational matrix that may be exploited:
"The Rhapsodist™ is part of the hip hop group 'M16™' out of NYC. He is currently working on a solo demo, and on a mixtape with M16™. He doesn't rep one specific city because he's always on the move, but he has lived in Hawaii, Cincinnati, Rhode Island, West Virginia, Italy, Germany, and Florida."
As is apparent from the paragraph, only one of the seven mentioned locations is actually a city, suggesting a possible flaw in The Rhapsodist's AI programming. Whether or not this can be used to the advantage of the side of good remains to be seen - an unnamed spokesperson for the Council of Light is confident that he can and will be defeated.
External Link[edit | edit source]
- The Rhapsodist™. Be sure to peruse the gallery and to sample his powerful poetic renditions.