Wheeling Jesuit University/Groups/Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks

Wheeling Jesuit University: Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks

The Council placed a great emphasis on cohesion and community, although more often than not, these noble efforts tended to go astray.

The Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks was a temporary government that presided over Wheeling Jesuit University between March and September of 2001. Although the government is widely considered to have been largely ineffective, the Council is unique in that it was the first and, to date, only attempt that WJU has ever made at democratic rule.

History

Prelude

Prior to the Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks, the only attempt at a student-run coalition was the WJU Civitan, which was revived in 1941 by Father Rom for the "purposes of creating civil order through the evacuation of undesirable peoples". Although the WJU Civitan had significant input in terms of the day-to-day administration of the university, its members were handpicked by Father Rom, who selected students based on their whiteness of their skin, the blondeness of their hair, the blueness of their eyes, and their willingness to follow orders. The WJU Civitan was disbanded in 2000 by Fed Acker Huang amidst personal fears that the society was becoming too powerful with its "blood oaths" and cult-like status.

Although attempts to create student-centered organisations have been attempted since WJU's days as a penal colony, up until the Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks, every single one of them was underground and not officially sanctioned by the school (for example, The Infallibles in the 1800s and the Churchill Society in the 2000s).

The Power Vacuum

After the sudden assassination of Fed Acker Huang in the early days of 2001, dozens of campus organisations hastily banded together in order to fill the power vacuum created by the empty presidency. Numerous organisations, including ITS, Residence Life, the Society of Jesus, and the League of Evil itself attempted to build armies and threatened to plunge Wheeling Jesuit University into a civil war.

More peaceful elements on campus, however, decided that a more peaceful solution was needed in order to prevent WJU from nuking itself back into the pre-Dschinghis Khan era. A ceasefire, upheld by the Council of Light, gave the university a chance to decide its fate peacefully.

It was at this point that Hippie Z, himself a member of the Justice Association, an underground student organisation, proposed a student-led coalition for the future of WJU. This move was lauded by many campus parties, and nominations and elections were held for the leadership positions of WJU's first student-only governing body.

Due to fluxes caused by primitive vote counting technology, the party eventually decided upon "about twenty members with at least two hot chicks at any given time". Thus, the Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks was born, and they wrested control of Wheeling Jesuit University from traditional forces for the first time in close to 200 years.

Problems During Rule

Two Hot Chicks run for office on a decidedly pro-American stance.

Despite the popularity of the notion of a student-run government, Premier Hippie Z faced many difficulties in keeping the Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks together. Due to the relative political inexperience of many of the party members, policy debates frequently broke down into slapfights, top secret information was wantonly leaked before decisions were yet to be made on them, and rampant alcoholism amongst party members made meeting attendance tenuous at best. Although the students saw nothing wrong with having Two Hot Chicks in power (and in very short skirts), the faculty and, especially, the Society of Jesus, were beginning to question the wisdom of allowing a student-run coalition to run Wheeling Jesuit University.

The final straw came after the Council grossly mismanaged a nuclear arms deal with West Virginia University, costing WJU almost $280 million in losses. Concurrently, the Jesuits had summoned Lundius Superbus, an old ally of the Jesuit Emperor, to lead the school. Faced with rising unpopularity and external pressures, Hippie Z abdicated on 31 August, 2001, and the Council was dissolved shortly after.

Legacy

In spite of the failures of the Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks, the Council gave legitimacy to student-led coalitions, and the student population began clamouring for reform. In 2004, the enigmatic student chieftain Kevingetorix formed a second Student Government and began functioning as a legislative body. Great White Mother went to great lengths to shut down this organisation, and she finally succeeded in 2006. However, the legacy of the Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks lives on, bound to inspire future WJU student politicians to rise up against their leaders before being brutally crushed.