What Nazis will do after They killed all Minorities
It's a very interesting issue in Philosophy, it is a very political discussion object and it keeps the great wise men of all skincolors busy: the question about the Nazis next goal in life, after the have killed off all Jews, blacks, Latinos, homosexuals, the handicapped, etc.
Because, let's be fair: the Nazis are not quite prepared for the future. In fact, no one knows what they are going to do after causing a minority-holocaust, including themselves. That's why scientists have come up with three theories to help them around, to keep them busy in more boring times.
Theory 1: Have a nice picknick[edit | edit source]
Finally, the dirty Jews and filthy welfare blacks have all died and their race is to never return again. What a glorious day! But wait, what am I going to do next? Perhaps I should pick on a different race, maybe the Muslim people, oh wait, the Americans will be through with them soon anyway.
I know[edit | edit source]
I'll have a picknick with my wife, Johnny, and our two kids, Heinrich and Alfred. They have been performing really well on school: they have Hitler grades for spelling and Rommel grades for world domination.
And my wife, well, she's something else: always there for me, making my dinner, cleaning the house, not crying too hard when I hit her in the face. A glorious day indeed.
Now, let's see what's for dinner today. Oh, well, what do you know! It's Goebbels strudels! And Himmler Beer! And Göring cookies! And...
Actually, this wouldn't work. The white men would get fat and slow, unable to defend themselves against eventual forgotten minorities. You might never know, some niggers might have survived. And then, if they beat the fat, slow white men to extinction and then they will have Malcolm X picknicks, Of which they will get fat and slow, vulnerable to forgotten white men, who would take over (again) and rule the world.
Actually it's quite plausible. I don't know, this theory is doubtful.
Theory 2: Beat boredom with the Niggermachine™[edit | edit source]
A different theory is the theory of the Niggermachine™: a machine, specifically designed to create black people, which can be used to hunt down.
The Nazis would then make only a few, so that they will never beat the white race. Nazis would pay lots of money for a ticket to murder minorities. It would be like Manhunt 2, only real! With niggers!
Of course, because the minorities are never a real threat, the Nazis would get bored after some time. I mean, even killing minorities gets boring after some time when they're not allowed to give it a real go and really threaten the lives of the Nazis.
So, the Nazis would eventually get bored once again and demolish the Niggermachine™, because the Nazis have been there and done it.
This would be a plausible theory, but not the smoking gun of defeating Nazi boredom.
The third theory was thought of only recently, but is the most plausible theory yet.
Theory 3: Nazis in Outer Space![edit | edit source]
Yes, outer space. I mean don't get me wrong, Austria is very nice place, but only for so long. After that, it's time to pack your bags and go explore the universe.
They would explore the universe with the superior rocket technology they used to win the Great und Glorious War. After that, they would install a permanent space station on the moon. From there, they would have started their quest to glory for the entire universe. They would have conquer Mars, Saturn and eventually the outer reaches of space. They would have left the Milky way and visit every solar system imaginable. They would have out colonized the alien species, on whatever planet they might have lived. They would be the supreme rulers of the universe, on a neverending quest for eternal glory, and would spen their time killing alien ethnic minorities.
Or not. They also could have been zapped the first moment they arrived in space.
The Nazis in Outer Space song[edit | edit source]
Scientists also hold the theory that the Nazis in outer space would have led to a quasi-ironic song that the crew members of the Nazi space shuttles would have song. It would have gone a little bit something like this:
Chorus:
- Nazis in outer space!
- Protecting the fate of the white race!
- Nazis in outer space!
- Fighting with a white skin and without disgrace!
Couplet 1:
- I've seen the glory that Hitler gave to us
- To help our glorious race
- Now it's time to take you, baby
- Into outer space
Chorus
Couplet 2:
- We must grab the moment
- when we kill all the coons
- And take that experience
- To beyond the moon!
Chorus
Guitar solo 1
Couplet 3:
- Why don't come on, baby
- take your pretty face
- When you'll stroke my Hitler mustache
- We'll be in outer (outer!) space!
Guitar solo 2
Final drum solo
Chorus
Theory 4: Start a band[edit | edit source]
The last theory would be the theory to start a band to glorify Nazi life and the Führer.
Nazis would actually let their hair grow. The bands would have a lead singer, a backing guitarist, a bass player and a drummer. The lead singer would stay with the band for only one album, after that he would have developed a depression from all the LSD usage.
The bass player would have taken over the band, making a classic album that would have sold more that 40 million records. After that, they would have slowly lost contact with their audience, which would be the basis of another classical album, which millions of people would buy. Then, after a few albums, the band would break up and get tangled up in a judicial battle against itself.
The band would then reunite for one final time: at Live Aids, a festival to promote AIDS to black people.
From this theory you can draw only one conclusion: Pink Floyd fully consists of Nazis.
Theory 5: WTF!!![edit | edit source]
Uh oh! It looks like all the nukes we used are having some adverse effects on our perfect, clean gene pool! (Sticks the Walther into his mouth and pulls the trigger).
Theory 6: Take them bowling[edit | edit source]
Yeah, you thought I'd forgotten that one, didn't you?
Theory 7: Nuclear holocaust[edit | edit source]Take all the atom bombs in the Nazis' possession, put them into concentration camps, gas them, and burn them up. Hopefully, none of them would actually go off. See Also[edit | edit source] |