Von Bobby John

“The pure and simple truth is rarely pure, and never a redneck.”

~ Oscar Wilde

“It's Von, Bobby Jon! The Love is gone!”

~ Gnarls Barkley

Coal Helmet

Rank	4th Chancellor of Germany
Predecessor	Hitler
Successor	Coal Helmet
Date of Birth	1901
Date of Death	1901
Place of Birth	{{{birthplace}}}
Political party	Illiterate Youth Party

Von Bobby John, born Bobby John, was the 4th Chancellor of Germany. Born in the Ozarks, Bobby John was raised by southern baptists in the Commonwealth of Kentuckistan, before being lost in his daily commute only to find himself in Berlin, Germany.

Chancellor

Bobby John was not remotely German, and for this he was widely accepted as a fuckhead because Germans were used to the concept of foreign rulers. After becoming Chancellor, loyal German admirers renamed him Von Bobby John, as this sounds much more German.

Policies

Von Bobby John proclaimed the superiority of the German race, as well as having a full set of teeth, neither of which applied to him. He had a certain eloquence in his garbled speech, which rallied crowds and brought them to their feet. His authoritarian and egomaniacal tendencies led him to declare war on inatimate objects, decrying their impurity. His life came to an all too sudden end when he declared war on air, afterwards finding that air was much too well trained in the art of guerilla warfare. He was killed in his mansion in Berlin by an airborne disease. Bobby John also introduced the mullet hairstyle to the Germans.

Legacy

With little to no real reforms, or accomplishments, Von Bobby John is seen as a hero to the German Public, and role model of Gerhard Schröder

|- style="text-align: center;" | width="30%" |Preceded by:
Hitler | width="40%" style="text-align: center;" |Chancellor of Germany
1945-1982 AD | width="30%" |Succeeded by:
Coal Helmet