Von Bobby John

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“The pure and simple truth is rarely pure, and never a redneck.”

“It's Von, Bobby Jon! The Love is gone!”

~ Gnarls Barkley
Coal Helmet
Redneck.gif
Rank4th Chancellor of Germany
PredecessorHitler
SuccessorCoal Helmet
Date of Birth1901
Date of Death1901
Place of Birth{{{birthplace}}}
Political partyIlliterate Youth Party

Von Bobby John, born Bobby John, was the 4th Chancellor of Germany. Born in the Ozarks, Bobby John was raised by southern baptists in the Commonwealth of Kentuckistan, before being lost in his daily commute only to find himself in Berlin, Germany.

Chancellor[edit | edit source]

Bobby John was not remotely German, and for this he was widely accepted as a fuckhead because Germans were used to the concept of foreign rulers. After becoming Chancellor, loyal German admirers renamed him Von Bobby John, as this sounds much more German.

Policies[edit | edit source]

Von Bobby John proclaimed the superiority of the German race, as well as having a full set of teeth, neither of which applied to him. He had a certain eloquence in his garbled speech, which rallied crowds and brought them to their feet. His authoritarian and egomaniacal tendencies led him to declare war on inatimate objects, decrying their impurity. His life came to an all too sudden end when he declared war on air, afterwards finding that air was much too well trained in the art of guerilla warfare. He was killed in his mansion in Berlin by an airborne disease. Bobby John also introduced the mullet hairstyle to the Germans.

Legacy[edit | edit source]

With little to no real reforms, or accomplishments, Von Bobby John is seen as a hero to the German Public, and role model of Gerhard Schröder


|- style="text-align: center;" | width="30%" |Preceded by:
Hitler | width="40%" style="text-align: center;" |Chancellor of Germany
1945-1982 AD | width="30%" |Succeeded by:
Coal Helmet