User talk:Schleyfox

Lord Lear Burton the V

Thank you for your interest in my burning spree. I congratulate you on your ability to post rational, logical, and gramatically correct messages. For someone who has just had their newborn child thrown into the flames, you are one of the most level-headed individuals who have ever complained on my talk page. I bow, good sir. Now, on to the important stuff:

When I first stumbled across the LeVar Burton page, it had the following major issues:

It was orphaned. No other page on this site linked to it. Orphans are like the Phantom of the Opera - they bug the management, they take up space, and nobody ever sees them. If other pages linked to it, it wouldn't have made my burn list in the first place.

The first few sentences were surprisingly accurate. Nobody likes an accurate article around here, really.

The rest wasn't all that funny. Really, do you think nobody has ever made the "rainbow = gay" connection before?

As you have gotten me into good mood with your nice request for assistance, I will make the following suggestions: (Yes, sugestions. You don't have to follow them - just what I think would be most amusing)

A) A stardate and location for his birth would be most appropriate. If you can dig up that info for Geordi, all the better. Treat LeVar as the screen name for Geordi La Forge, and halariaty might ensue.

B) As we all know, Reading Rainbow was the show that the character LeVar Burton hosted for the children of the Starship Enterprise. "TNG" was all about getting "TNG" reading. The Rainbow has to deal with the Rainbow of different races he reads to. It's all about the children, man, no matter how many eyes or ears they have.

C) Those glasses help him read in 287 different languages. Why else would he wear them?

D) References: My Everloving Ass and See Also: pornography, Jesus, and magicke stickes could be replaced with far more relevant and amusing items. Bare minimum, Goggles and or Google

E) His followers believe in a special form of intelligent design that states that the world was written as a children's book, and all actions that occur in our perception are in fact caused by spot running. I missed that during my burning spree. That line alone might have saved it, had I read it the first time. Run with that bit!!!

So, now that I've filled your talk page with a load of crap, here's the real scoop: I'm restoring the original page, contingent on you improving upon it. I'm also redirecting Levar Burton to it, so that all the TNG editors who can't spell his name get pointed there. be funny, and make me proud. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 01:07, 25 Oct 2005 (UTC)