User talk:Schism1985/Dave Mustaine
I'm liking some of these changes. "Without Dave's leadership and musical genius to guide the way, Metallica slowly but surely diminished throughout the 90's, never again achieving the same level of fame they enjoyed while working with Mustardstaine." is good stuff. It's definitely an improvement over what's already there. So if you stick this in as is, people might like it. (If someone else reverts it, you can always ask them what they didn't like and if they have any advice :) )
If you want to make it really good, I suggest you read HowTo:Write A Funny Band Article. It'll basically tell you that it's impossible to write a good article about a musician, but what it's really doing is warning you about everything that can go wrong with a band article. One of the biggest warnings is that usually someone who writes an article about a band they like will be all "This band is awesome haha!" and someone who doesn't like the band will be all "This band is gay haha!" My biggest suggestion here is to write a mean article about a band you like, or write a nice article about a band you hate. This is an easy way to get the sarcasm flowing.
If you plan to keep working on this (and I hope you do - it's already better, but it could be a lot better) here are some tips:
1. Instead of having a lot of quotes, decide on a few quotes that are funniest. Delete the rest, and then make the funny ones even funnier.
2. Try to avoid lists. If you must have a list (for example - a list of song titles or album titles), write a little bit about everything in the list.
3. I personally don't like fake names, but then again, I'm a crazy person. So I'd say remove them, but that's me. A lot of people like them, so you don't really need to change them.
4. Try to pick a single joke that you think is the absolute funniest thing about Dave. Try to tie everything in the article to that. You might not be able to tie everything in, but the more the article is about a single joke, the more cohesive it will be. (For example, take the Megadeth article. There are lots of funny things about Megadeth, but the article is almost all about how Dave was fired from Metallica and got upset, but then went and started a band where he threw a lot of people out for silly reasons.)
I have a lot of work to do right now and a concert to go to tonight, so that's it for now. I'll try to take a closer look later, and I'll gladly give you advice if you have any specific questions. Pee review is also a good resource, especially after you've made a lot of changes.
Ohh ooh ooh. One thing you can do... Before the current Megadeth article was written, there was a completely different article that had some funny Dave Mustaine jokes in it. You might be able to use some of those jokes since they aren't in the Megadeth article anymore. [Here it is. http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Megadeth&oldid=3204410]
--monika 22:40, October 20, 2009 (UTC)
I just had a thought I thought was funny. You could write this article as if it were an interview of Dave Mustaine. So for every question, you'd write an answer that's in the point of view of Dave. Since Dave thinks everything he did was okay, you can rationalize things. Dave likes to rationalize things. Of course, this is just a suggestion, and would probably require a lot more work than just fixing up the article. Anyway, just throwing it out there. --monika 23:08, October 20, 2009 (UTC)
I'm liking the section titles. You've got a nice theme going there. --monika 00:24, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, dude. It's obviously still got quite a bit of work to be done, but hopefully I'll have time to get it finished by the end of the week. Schism1985