User talk:JAF1999

Welcome!

Hello, JAF1999, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
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At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:JAF1999/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- KittyKitty (t) (c) 20:15, November 4, 2011 (UTC)

ADHD

Please ban the article on ADHD, as I am a patient and wish it to be removed!

ADHD

Even if the contents of this article was on Wikipedia it would not be breaking English law. That's not how the law works. mAttlobster. (hello) 18:59, November 5, 2011 (UTC)

Also post messages on talk pages not user pages. mAttlobster. (hello) 19:08, November 5, 2011 (UTC)

Don't take things on here personally either. Some articles on here are a bit crap and can be seen as offensive but you shouldn't take them seriously. The ADHD looks like it was written deliberately to wind people up, so if you ignore it, it's basically failed. mAttlobster. (hello) 19:14, November 5, 2011 (UTC)

I have 50 sockpuppets on WIKIPEDIA! I rule! see above

The only time anyone ever looks at these articles is when you bring them to attention. You're the only one getting people to read this stuff. mAttlobster. (hello) 11:42, December 22, 2011 (UTC)

I have to say

Now, I'm not a fan of encyclopedia dramatica. But here is a quote from them I think is especially appropriate here:

“ALL PRIOR VERSIONS OF PAGES ARE SAVED, so it takes about a second to change back to the version that was up before you vandalized. You spend 10 minutes wanking off writing about how wonderful so-and-so is and how mean we are, and it takes an instant to change back, so it's a waste of time. This means that your changes to the article or whatever will be visible for about 2.72 seconds, depending on how baked the sysop is, and will only earn you a swift ban... It's really not worth the effort.”

– Quite possibly the least retarded thing they've ever said.

But seriously, you really must be pathetic to be vandalising a comedy wiki. Either go find somewhere else to soap-box in, or grow a pair. - Hypster 12:49, December 22, 2011 (UTC)