User talk:Gerrycheevers/Water Gun Drive-Bys

From Pee Review

Water gun drive bys

I'm kind of stuck for more, so any advice would be great thanks.--Gabbaman 00:23, 22 August 2007 (UTC)

Humour:	4	Good effort, but it doesn't catch me. I would recommend doing things that vividly equate it to the real terrors of real drive-bys... things about the terrible effects on communities and describing vulgar water-gun deaths. Things that essentially equate it to a real gun, but do it in a vivid and serious manner... as if it were a serious Wikipedia article. Doing it this way makes it that much more absurd, and therefore, that much more goofy/funny.
Concept:	7	It seems like this idea definately has potential, if executed well enough.
Prose and formatting:	2	The article is written as if it were a fiction story, I'd recommend revamping it to resemble an encyclopedia/wikipedia article, rather than a small fiction story.
Images:	5	Fitting to the article, but nothing special. I can't be one to judge though, I couldn't come up with clever ideas for that.
Miscellaneous:	7	You didn't really stray into randomness, which is excellent.
Final Score:	25	It definately needs work, but also definately has alot of potential. If you feel stuck or something and think I could help, feel free to get at me on my talk page! Good luck!
Reviewer:	Prof. Ahh(to the)Diddums[FUCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!] 00:58, 19 September 2007 (UTC)

I'm Don Juan And I'm Don Jon AND WE'RE HRE TO PUMP UP YOURS!

Water gun drive by shootings are the leading cause of death of the endangered paper tiger, whose wimpy paperyness CANNOT STAND UP TO THE RAW POWER OF WATER!