User talk:EMP

Not funny

Look, User:Nerd42 can be annoying, but so can I. And you. And everyone else with a sense of humor. And Reasons to become an atheist may be only moderately funny, but it's still a step above most of what gets voted Keep on VFD. But in any case, even if Nerd42 and his article had no redeeming qualities whatsoever, your "addition" to the page will only get you banned. To wit:

Vandalism, huh little buddy? Now you've done it. This is war.

To paraphrase some random patriot, I may not care for Nerd42's contributions, but I'll fight to the death to defend his right to make them. Or more accurately, I'll fight to your death to defend his right. Vandalism is a bannable offense, and declaring war is a great way to call our attention to it. Consider yourself warned. -- Sir BobBobBob ! S ? [rox!|sux!] 20:40, 20 Dec 2005 (UTC)

To quote a complete jackass, "Can't we all just get along?" --Nerd42 23:34, 20 Dec 2005 (UTC)

I do apologize.

Bob, Bob, Bob...

You should not jump to such hasty conclusions, Bob. Do you not know about TraceRt, or were you just hoping I would do your due-diligence for you?

Dec. 4: 207.112.29.198 - North York (it's a Toronto suburb), Canada.
Dec. 7: 137.44.1.200 - Swansea, Wales.
Dec. 17: 202.156.6.75 - Singapore.
Dec. 20: 67.191.139.20 - New Orleans, Louisiana.

Now, we both know it is possible that I could have travelled to all those locations in person, or that I control an army of zombie attack trojans all over the globe, all diabolically programmed to edit one specific page on uncyclopedia.org whenever the mood strikes, coincidentally leaving their IP addresses on the record for all to see. But is that really what you think, Bob? Do you really believe that if I were all that, I would be taking time out from my busy holiday schedule just to "vandalize" some little Mormonazi punk's turd-mouthed ramblings, just because he somehow seems to have all of you admins standing in queue to take turns bending over for him? I should certainly hope not!

And does it truly surprise you that out of the millions who browse web every day, just seven separate people might, in space of thirty days, be so disgusted with what you have shamefully allowed here that they might try to do what little they can to demonstrate their resentment against you? Is that really so shocking?

I really do laugh out loud every time I see this one.

And another thing, Bob. It is true, as I have stated, that this is a "war" between aforementioned Mormonazi and I. But you must not assume that your web site, which I enjoyed quite a bit at first, should have anything to do with this in future. On the contrary, there are many other ways to deal with this issue that do not, as you say, draw more attention to the problem. Said problem has already been traced to Independence, and if he is not simply lying about his affiliation (and I do not believe he is), then he is either Restoration Branch or Remnant, and neither group will likely be happy to hear of his activities. So I won't be spoiling your dinner again, I'm afraid. Sorry!

But before I go, why on God's green earth would I care in the least about being "banned"? You sound like a teenager! Ooh, banned! How frightening! I will admit I may not be brightest pebble on the beach perhaps, but do try to give me some credit, please. These are serious issues that must be dealt with by serious men and women. You seem like an intelligent fellow, in fact all of you administrators seem to be operating at quite a high level intellectually speaking, at least in textual form. Of course, that only makes your willingness to take it up the bum from this nasty little twit that much more bewildering. (By the way, I do mean that figuratively, in case you were worried!)

I wish you all the best of luck, Bob, and sincerely, the most joyful of holidays to you and yours.

--The English Mental Patient 00:45, 21 Dec 2005 (UTC)

PS. Rodney King was not a "jackass"; he was a victim of police brutality, who later tried to prevent violent rioting in his home town. But I wouldn't expect a sub-moron to know that, of course.

Um... yeah. What he said. -- Sir BobBobBob ! S ? [rox!|sux!] 16:19, 21 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Ok, I'll admit, I did understand this part:

But before I go, why on God's green earth would I care in the least about being "banned"? You sound like a teenager! Ooh, banned! How frightening! I will admit I may not be brightest pebble on the beach perhaps, but do try to give me some credit, please.

Your intellect is surely towering. However, there's not really any way for me to directly measure it. Therefore, all I can do is respond as I would to the other goofballs who post things about starting "wars": with threats of bannination. Trust me, I am soooooooo relieved that you won't be upset if you happen to receive a ban. If I wanted to upset people, I'd ask to be an admin on Wikipedia. -- Sir BobBobBob ! S ? [rox!|sux!] 16:19, 21 Dec 2005 (UTC)

This article just isn't funny.

Uncyclopedia has high standards of humour, and this article doesn't quite cut it yet. In fact, instead of making people laugh, it's been known to make hounds slobber. Please edit it to make it, you know, funnier. If this page is not fixed in 30 days, it may become a candidate for deletion.

---

• It sounds rather that you are spinning conspiracy theories. Think about this for a moment: admins all doing what I say? Have you heard how popular any of my ideas have been? LOL
• Second point: What does my religion and/or location have to do with ... anything? On the other hand, it is a very grave thing to attack someone's anonymity online. There are laws against that if I am not mistaken.
• Third point: If the third edit to the page was not yours, then I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience, but it seemed a very similar occurance. I do not attempt to communicate with people I meet online in the real world, so I did not take the liberty of tracing the location of the IP address. I said I was pretty sure it was you again because of the aforementioned "war" comment and left it at that for the admins to deal with, as specified in official site policy.
• Fourth point: Why the heck is there a war? I have no problems with you personally, and don't see what your problem is. There is enough offensive material on this site to offend most of the population of the world, so I don't see why you are zooming in on Reasons to become an atheist in particular. Except that it is probably the only page that makes fun of atheists the way the site makes fun of everything else under the sun. Really, is this reasonable? --Nerd42 23:09, 21 Dec 2005 (UTC)