User:Zombiebaron/wip/iClothes
The Apple Computers line of iClothes were invented upon the principle that people love two things: nudity, and eating. Thus, Apple, the company who pioneered eatable computers, created eatable clothing. iClothes are light weight, durrable, and a fine source of fiber.
Ad Campaign and Slogans[edit | edit source]
When iClothes were first launched, they were acompanide by ads showing beautiful women eating parts of their clothing, and the slogan "Eat me." However after much presure from the Latverian goverment, the slogan was changed to its current "Eat diffrent."
iClothes Flavors[edit | edit source]
Currently there are eight diffrent flavours that iClothes can be purchased in. In order of their invention, they are:
- Orange Mint (invented in 1954)
- Strawberry Melon (invented in 1960)
- White Supremacy (invented in Georgia)
- Banana Passionfruit (invented in 1965)
- Purple Oatmeal Cookie Crunch (invented in 1974)
- Red Rum (invented in 1980)
- Jamoca Watermelon (invented in 1984)
- Hard Ham (invented in 1999)
Contriversy[edit | edit source]
Since the release of iClothes in early 2005, there has been much contriversy over the function of the clothes, and the message that it sends to young children. All of the speculation came to a head on May 21st, 2005, when a gang of homeless men tied a woman to a table, and ate her clothes off. Since then there have been many reports of rapists eating womens clothing, drunk chicks eating their own clothing, and cats chewing on balls of yarn. This lead to a sever crack down on the iClothing by goverments in third world countries, due to fear that citizens might be using the iClothes as a source of food. On January 20th, 2006 US President George Bush, and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper made it illegal for anyone under the age of twenty to wear iClothes. This law outraged Apple Computers, who in responce announced that its new line of iClothes would be geared towards sex. These "iSex" iClothes will include an eatable school girl uniform, an eatable nurses' uniform, an eatable policeman uniform, and an eatable pare of assless Chaps.