User:Zim ulator/Lowell, Massachusetts

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Lowell, Massachusetts
Flag of Lowell
Motto: "We thought being the birthplace of Jack Kerouac would be a tourist draw, but that didn't go so well. Maybe they're right, and his writing is shit."
City Anthem: We serve Cotes beans
Lowell ma highlight.png
Country United States of France
State Autonomous Federated Soviet Republic of Massachusetts
County Middlesex
Settled 1653
Incorporated 1826
A city 1836
Official language English
Unofficial languages Spanish, Cambodian, French, Laotian, Portuguese, Mandarin, Vietnamese, Swahili, Cantonese, French, Spanish and Portuguese Creoles, Irish, Glossalalic
Races All of them.
Government Clusterfuck
President Big Brother
National Holiday April 24 Sasquatch Appreciation Day
Local Hero Jack Kerouac Xenophon "Zenny" Speroni
Currency Cigarettes
Religion All of them.

Lowell is a city in Middlesex County, Massachusetts, spanning the Merrimac River with 4 bridges and a catapult. Known as the Mill city since 1844, Lowell boasts a major state university, hideous architecture, curious odors, and a fair number of literate citizens.

History[edit | edit source]

The city of Lowell (estimated 2010 human pop. 420,000) was originally inhabited by aboriginal native Americans around 8,000 years before the birth of Christ.

[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]

My brother-in-laws house was assaulted by a lumber truck recently. This is what passes for big news in Lowell.