User:Zim ulator/Lowell, Massachusetts

Lowell, Massachusetts

Motto: "We thought being the birthplace of Jack Kerouac would be a tourist draw, but that didn't go so well. Maybe they're right, and his writing is shit."
City Anthem: We serve Cotes beans
Country	United States of France
State	Autonomous Federated Soviet Republic of Massachusetts
County	Middlesex
Settled	1653
Incorporated	1826
A city	1836
Official language	English
Unofficial languages	Spanish, Cambodian, French, Laotian, Portuguese, Mandarin, Vietnamese, Swahili, Cantonese, French, Spanish and Portuguese Creoles, Irish, Glossalalic
Races	All of them.
Government	Clusterfuck
President	Big Brother
National Holiday	April 24 Sasquatch Appreciation Day
Local Hero	Jack Kerouac Xenophon "Zenny" Speroni
Currency	Cigarettes
Religion	All of them.

Lowell is a city in Middlesex County, Massachusetts, spanning the Merrimac River with 4 bridges and a catapult. Known as the Mill city since 1844, Lowell boasts a major state university, hideous architecture, curious odors, and a fair number of literate citizens.

History

The city of Lowell (estimated 2010 human pop. 420,000) was originally inhabited by aboriginal native Americans around 8,000 years before the birth of Christ.

My brother-in-laws house was assaulted by a lumber truck recently. This is what passes for big news in Lowell.