User:Yowsa/NOObintrainingpage1

--Yowsa 00:56, October 17, 2009 (UTC)

Involvement in 9/11

This photo of Glenn Beck with a remote control in his parched stubby hands was recently found by whistle-blower and disgruntled ex-employee "Jimmy". This damning evidence was among hundreds of other photos Jimmy stole when he quit the bad photo shop he worked at for several days to support his Vicodin habit.

The patriotic hero and respected anti-communist art critic Glenn Beck has undeniable financial, spiritual and emotional links to the September 11 terrorist attacks on the United States of America. This can not be denied. The connections which no one denies may have originally stemmed from blackmail and coercion. The facts that can not be denied are that Beck rose like a modern day Patty Hearst resurrecting from the ashes of an all-night beer-b-que and reigniting the party. Glenn Becks undeniable commitment to the cause of Islamo-Fascism brought new life to the moribund middle-eastern terror network. No one has ever denied this. Glenn claims he was only controlling a small toy remote-operated device on September 11, but this supposed toy has never been found.

Beck's extremist devotion turned what could of been the simple and forgettable rape and murder of a young girl in 1990 into the deaths of untold thousands. Following the same path, there is a group of investigators attempting to bring the well known and widely hated TV presenter and psychotic to justice.

The rapidly growing group of people includes detectives, quantum mechanics, victim's families, and internet psychics and is collectively known as the 1990 Truth Movement. This eclectic and curious group of strangers have bonded together around a common cause in an age old quest for truth, retribution and attention.

The terrorist connections of the deviated pervert and side-show performer came to light during an investigation into Beck's sordid past. In 1990 Glenn was fired from radio station Power 104 in Houston and he was at a low point in his life. He became addicted to drugs and wandered alone on the dusty unforgiving streets of Texas. While scoring drugs one night, Glenn met and fell in with a rough-and-tumble take-no-prisoners crew of roustabouts, ranchers and republicans. A gang of party-boys that would change America forever.

The 1990 Rape Room

Beck and his new friend George Bush spent many drunken debauched nights daring and taunting each other further towards the line of illegality and no return. Blowing past stop signs of respectability and restraint thay sent oil wells into geysers of shame. One night in 1990 Bush came to shove Beck over the line, and a poor innocent, pregnant girl lay at their feet. Raped and murdered. Two men had unwittingly lost control of their lives to larger and more malevolent forces. A girl was dead. A meme was born. What a night, oh what a night.

Beck was an uneducated unemployed morning-show-radio-shock-jock. Bush was a faux educated unemployed stay-up-till-morning-cock-jock. They were both facing the death penalty. In a ironic twist of fate, Bush faced being executed by himself, the future governor. In a cowardly move, to be repeated many times by both boy-men in the future, they turned to Big Daddy Bush and cried, squealed, pleaded, begged and blew him for help. Always a sucker for pudgy cheeks, crooked grins and short fingers, the Old Bush complied, sealing New Yorks fate to be dusted with a coating of asbestos, molten steel and vaporized cubicles.

The Great Escape

Big Daddy sent the two miscreant future leaders over the border to Saudi Arabia to hide-out with King Abdullah and his nephew, who was party-boy, ex-stripper and infamous singer for Saudi teen-sensation group The Burka Lifters, Mr. Osama Bin Laden. He was then known under the pseudonym 'Sweet Sammy Bean La-La-La', he is now known under his actual name, Prince Deceased Patron Saint of War Profiteers and Rapists.

Osama's fight with Bush.