User:XD8D8P/Jason Derulo
“JASON DERULOOOOOO!”
“Fucking wannabe!”
“Oooooooh, whatcha say!”
Jason Derulo is an African-American Pokemon. He is commonly found at level 35, and doesn't evolve. He is also a singer, many teenage girls like him. He has a micropenis, something rare for his ethnicity.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
He was born in Africa to a Mudkip and Shaquille O'Neal. Jason found his "talent" of singing at quite an early age. There was only one problem though, he said his name before every sentence. After all... he was half Pokemon.
A Little Message From Jason[edit | edit source]
Jason Derulo! My name is Jason Derulo! Jason Derulo! I'm a singer who tries to be like all the other black singers out there. Jason Derulo! Since I'm a Pokemon, many people tried to catch me. Jason Derulo! What they don't know is, semen is a good thing to use on a Pokeball for it to malfunction. Jason Derulo! I jack off in there to avoid getting caught. Jason Derulo! I've sung many songs, and I have a crush on Rihanna. Jason Derulo! I use auto-tune to make my voice sound sexy! Jason Derulo! My dancing skills are epic. Jason Derulo! Watch me do a cartwheel. Jason Derulo! See, I told you they were good! Jason Derulo! God bless Africa, and luv ya girls <3! JJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNN DDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Singles[edit | edit source]
Year | Song | Chart Positions | Criticism... | ||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
U.S. | U.K. | Mexico | Iran | China | Uganda | North Korea | Strip Club Singles | Bermuda | Kanto Region | Africa | |||
2004 | "In My Head, There Are Images of Sluts" | 1 | 69 | - | 1 | 1 | - | 1 | 1 | 13 | 24 | 1 | The song was #1 in Africa for 7 years, losers. |
2006 | "Ridin' Solo on That Dick" | 1337 | 2 | 2 | 8 | =3~~ | - | - | 1 | 102 | 111 | 1 | The music video was taken off of YouTube. I wonder why?? |
"HEEEEEEEEY JASON DERULOOOO" (featuring Soulja Boy (rapper)) | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | Soulja Boy's |