User:User:Joe9320/UnNews:NASA discovers Hot Dogs in Space

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

6 September 2012

Satellite image of WISE detected numerous hot dogs, as well as pies and popcorn. Not pictured: obese black woman eating said edible galaxy.

EARTH, Space -- The American space agency NASA's space telescope WISE, when scientists are surveying the entire universe for invasion of other planets for colonisation, apparently discovered a new type of galaxy: a galaxy that is edible, consisting of food like hot dogs, popcorn, pies and others, leading the scientists to call these galaxies "hot dogs", standing for the ridiculously boring "hot, dust obscured galaxy, edible" due to the fact that most of the food had been left on the table uneaten, collecting mold, dust and bacteria such as E.coli. WISE discovered around 1,000 types of food putting out 1000 times as much energy as 10 galaxies made of Milky Way, making it one of the most edible objects in the Universe. Yet in astro-epicure, the field of finding food in space, 1000 is considered too small a number to be described as edible when accounting for the 1-in-100000 food sources found across the galaxy for feeding the massively overpopulated Earth, counting 7 billion and more to come, including countless other organisms and bacteria, and not counting members of the plant kingdom.

Scientists stated that since most of the hot dogs found in the galaxy are more than 10 billion light-years away, if one travels to these places, the food had long been blacked out by mold, or heated in an oven to a black cinder and consumed by aliens, or become actual, inedible galaxies like the Milky Way, or been destroyed in a Dyson sphere construction. Astro-epicurians are unsure if conditions 10 billion years ago are suited for the formation of hot dogs in space, and suspect that there is a supermassive black hole consuming the contents of a hot dog. It is believed that there is a supermassive black hole that is currently eating the contents of the Milky Way, fried chicken or both. WISE researchers stated that they also discovered millions of obese black holes.

Sources

• Irene Klotz "WISE DISCOVERS GALACTIC HOT DOGS" Discovery Channel, August 30, 2012