User:Tooltroll/The Fact is That Gerald Fits Edmund

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The legend was wrong in that old Lightfoot song

and it sounds kind of downbeat and gloomy

the song, it is said, made 'ol Gord lots of bread

so he lives in a nice house that's roomy

Of forgotten lore there's considerably more

about Edmund and Gerald, the owners

a couple of pooves who had ore to move

even if they liked suckin' on boners

Well, Gerry met Ed while giving him head

through a glory hole in a gay disco

they started the date at a quarter to eight

by eight-thirty they were all out of crisco

When Eddie moved in it made Gerry grin

'cause he knew that he'd never go sexless

he'd grease up his pole and use any hole

or give his fair Ed a pearl necklace

Something went wrong with the beauty salon

where Gerry worked cuttin' and stylin'

in need of support he'd have to resort

to work for his rich dad doing filin'

Gerry and Ed eventually got wed

when they legalized bum-buddy marriage

His dad was ok that his son was so gay

so he bought 'em an ore haulin' carriage

Their ship sank it's true, but nobody knew

that it's name was, in fact, a misnomer:

as big faggots go, Ed was bigger than most

and Gerry, he had a tight sphincter

So Ed, though he spit to get it to fit

while he and his Gerry were wrestlin'

it just wouldn't slide so they had to switch sides

and the fact is that Gerald fits Edmund

Does anyone know how big a cock grows

when it's shoved up another man's colon?

it might fit all right or it might bo too tight

you never can tell without trollin'

But Gerry and Ed are happy in bed

because Gerry has no gag reflexes

Eddie is fine on the bottom all the time

'cause that's what he thinks that great sex is

Credits

Parody lyrics, & vocals:   Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN • Eh? • Oh! • UnTunes! •• I my cat!