User:Teh roboot
 This article is quite random. You might want to edit it so that it's actually about something! |
“I am Teh roboot. I can reboot. REBOAT! Oh ya! I rok!”
“Just... No...”
“I'm evil!”
“Is there even a point to this? Oh, and I like feesh.”
“Did someone call me?”
“I quit school to go to Star Wars!”
“OBJECTION! IT'S FUN TO SAY OBJECTION!”
“SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! heheh.... spleeeeee....”
“Apparently the Elite Beat Agents are looking for him. They say they want their dance back.”
“I am the robot! I can still load! Reboot! Oh yes, I most definitely rock.”
Teh roboot is a robot with no sense of complete sense. Usually he is found dancing randomly in public, usually ending up with him yelling "I AM TEH KING OF PIE AND COOL DESERTZ!!!"
You may have wanted to search for... Wait, why do I care?
Early Life[edit | edit source]
No one knows where Teh roboot came from. Some say he came out of a basement somewhere in New Jersey, others think that he was invented by This Guy when he had nothing better to do. Of course we all know the REAL truth... He's from Kentuckistan. Whether or not he is connected to Fried Chicken has not been confirmed yet.
The first words Teh roboot had said, before randomly killing people on the streets, was "I AM TEH ROBOOT! I KAN PWN YOO N00BZ!!!" And he did pwn the n00bs. He pwned them good.
When he was on trial for the murders he had caused, Teh roboot managed to get away with everything when he accused the Judge of not eating Subway, which was revealed to be true by his defense attorney. The judge was sentenced to death, yelling the classic words as he was pulled out of the courtroom: "I would of gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling bastard!"
Teh roboot then proceeded to fulfill his life long dream of being a famous singer. He decided to try American Idol, disguised as William Hung. Unfortunately, he was denied by Simon Cowell but got his big break when a record producer saw his 'talent' and offered him a life-long contract with free dental. He didn't have teeth, but who cares!? FREE DENTAL!!!
"I am Teh roboot! I get teh phree dentle! All yoos get is feesh and cheeps! OH YOES!"
Music Career With the side of Feeesh![edit | edit source]
After a year of popularity and gloating to people on the streets for no reason and taking their wallets, Teh roboot's life fell apart. Apparently his popularity was no match for N'Sync and their lead singer, Adam West. When confronting the group, he was instantly destroyed by their fanboys.
Luckily, with some help from the Elite Beat Agents, Teh roboot was glued back together and ready to face the shrilling menace. After a craaaaaaaazy fight against Venom, Sandman and Adam West, Teh roboot managed to save Mary Jane and forgive Sandman for killing his father, Windows 95. His friend, Harry Potter (also known as The N00b Goblin) had not survived the battle, as he had been stabbed by Venom earlier (he tried to heal himself with his wand, but then he realized that it was just a stick).
Because of this sudden event, Teh roboot quit his music career and began working for McDonald's.
School[edit | edit source]
Teh roboot went to Behind The Dumpster University where he got his master's degree in scrounging and growling at rats. He was the best in his class, apparently. It was this degree that got him a job at McDonald's (where do think they get their meat?)
"I AM TEH ROBOOT! I MAK TEH PEE-PULL PHAT SO I CAN ROOL TEH WOORLD! OH YOES! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-lowbattery!"
This helped cause obesity in many areas, as shown below.
... Damn.
The Sinister 3[edit | edit source]
Teh roboot was also part of an evil organization called the Sinister 3. Led by Tobey Maguire and Ashton Kutcher, this group of evil villains was out to rool teh woorld. Their lair had nuclear weapons, a massive forcefield, laser beams for special effects and Captain Crunch. They also had a pet goldfish named Frank.
Their master plan was to get rid of President Chuck E. Cheese and then attack with complete randomness. They also sold yogurt in their free time. It came in 10 flavors! Frank sorted the finances, of course. The main problem was that Tobey Maguire couldn't shoot because he had too many cuts on his hand due to the whole emo thing from Spider-Man 3. Ashton couldn't shoot because he had just been tomahawked. Teh roboot couldn't shoot either because he just had Subway. AGAIN! So the best way to assassinate the President was to frame somebody else for doing it. Luckily, Jack Bauer was walking by with a bag of Frito's. With the Frito's failing to hold the sniper effectively, the Sinister 3 had no choice but to make Jack Bauer do the assassination.
Fun fact: Assassin has 2 ass's in it: The guy shooting and the guy getting shot.
Jack Bauer failed to assassinate the President, which ended up with the Sinister 3 being caught and sent to prison.
Ashton Kutcher: "Damn! If the Frito's did this then we wouldn't be here! Nice going, Jack!"
Back to Court[edit | edit source]
When in court, each member managed to escape. Tobey webslinged away, Ashton was pretending that everyone had just been Punk'd and Teh roboot escaped by unmasking the true culprit again. The Frito's was apparently behind this the entire time.
The End of The Sinister 3[edit | edit source]
The marriage between Tobey Maguire and Ashton Kutcher wasn't working out because of different 'interests', leaving Teh roboot to try to bring them back together. He failed after Ashton Kutcher saw Tobey Maguire kissing another guy upside down. AGAIN!
Tobey Maguire: "It wasn't my fault! I was trying to spread disease!"
Becoming Tsar of Russia[edit | edit source]
During summer vacaction, Teh roboot went to Russia so he could kill relax and have a good time. Two bottles of vodka, a Brittney Spears album and a bottle of Stalin's favorite perfume later, Teh roboot took over russia with his iron feesh fist. Strangely enough, he DID have an iron fist. His name was Frank. He took care of finances. Oh wait...
TehRobootism[edit | edit source]
Teh roboot made up new policies under the TehRobootism rule. He had a long list of 'policies' that had to be done:
- Making a list of policies
- Doing his homework
- Winning the Science Fair
- Being a Girl Scout
- Watching T.V.
- Watching T.V.
- Watching T.V.
- Watching T.V.
- Being lazy
- I'll finish the rest later
His policies made Russia the most powerful nation in the world. Because of this, the people loved him. In fact, they made a song about him:
There lived a certain man, in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
He ruled the Russian land, with terror and fear
But to Moscow Chicks, he really was a dear
Something something, something something something
Something something something something
Something something, something something something
Pickled relished feesh
Teh-teh-roboot, Russia's greatest boot machine
There was a guy who really loved boots
Teh-teh-roboot, lover of the Russian boot
Some say he really was Spider-man
"It's a work in progress. We're thinking of adding something that deals with glowing penguins."
The Revolution[edit | edit source]
When the Nintendo Revolution came out, the Russians spent more time jumping up and down with remotes instead of doing their job. Teh roboot lost control of the situation and stopped being the Tsar of Russia. There was even an assassination attempt with a man running towards Teh roboot with a gun screaming: "GLARGIN BLARGIN SPACK CHEESE PIE!!!" The assassin seemed to run past Teh roboot, not knowing that he was about to fall off a cliff. Since then, Nintendo has been the ruler of Russia.
If only those people knew that Nintendo would rename 'The Revolution' the Wii...
Having His Own T.V. show[edit | edit source]
He wishes.
Career in Dancing[edit | edit source]
Teh roboot saw his calling in life when he got a business card from Jack Black and called him. Jack Black saw potential in Teh roboot's killing strategies and thought that he could use that to make him the best dancer EVAR!!!
Training[edit | edit source]
Part of the training involved a lot of angry letters to some guy named Bill. In order to keep up with the words that Jack Black wanted him to write, Teh roboot had to shake n' bake. He drank lots of water too, but then he realized that he was a robot and short circuited. He was then taken to the hospital where they had to take out a kidney. It wasn't his.
"I AM TEH ROBOOT! TEH KIDNEY IS TAKEN FRM MA BELLAY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES!!!"
His First Dance Off[edit | edit source]
Teh roboot was walking down the street one day when Micheal Jackson challenged him to a dance off for no reason whatsoever. The dance off began and didn't end until Teh roboot finally decided to just break Micheal Jackson's legs. THE DEED WAS DONE! Teh roboot won the dance off. There were no survivors.
His Fame And Fortune[edit | edit source]
Teh roboot got so popular that they made products with his face on it. Even his face had a face on it! Yeah, I know!
Before he knew it, Teh roboot was on Easy Street. He didn't like the neighborhood, so he moved to Hardass Avenue. Best decision he's ever made! He also had a pet goldfish named Frank! He took care of... I typed this already, didn't I?
As the sales got better, so did his dancing. He managed to do the moonwalk, the monkey, the Albert Einstein, the Super-duper-leg-twisty-thing, and the most hardest dance move of all... THE HOKEY POKEY!!! (GASP!!!)
Where he has danced[edit | edit source]
- Stalin and Len's Disco
- An alley
- An alley, but cleaner
- His house (also an alley)
- Somewhere over the rainbow (most likely an alley)
- Frank's Fish and Chips
- Mount Doom
- The Fantastic Four's Secret Lair that really wasn't that secret. At all.
- Joe Momma's
- Momma Joe's
- CTU
- My backyard
- Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm
The Kids[edit | edit source]
Eventually he got popular with the kids, too. His products were #1 in sales. There were several issues with parents, but nobody cares.
In fact, some might even thank Teh roboot. Every shotgun he sells means one less mouth to feed. SWEE- I mean, oh... That's terrible...
...Cough...
Joining Uncyclopedia[edit | edit source]
He had nothing better to do. It was either read a book or write this.
The answer was obvious, but he didn't have a book so here he is on Uncyclopedia!
"I am Teh roboot! Yoos waysted yoor time reeding tis! OH YOES! I AM WINN'R!!!
See Also[edit | edit source]
Screw that. Use the search engine.