User:SuperBario/Pee Review/Star Trek: The Next Generation
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Star Trek: The Next Generation[edit | edit source]
SuperBario 00:01, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | There is some great stuff in here, but also some less-than-great stuff so I'll start with that. Firstly, there's just a few things that are a bit random, like when you say Data was a sex slave. This does set up another good joke later about women, but I think there's a lot more you could say about Data, who is a great source for humour (as are Worf and Troi). The whole character section is like this, particularly the 'Other Notable Characters' bit. Just make it less random and more satirical like some of the other great bits in the article that make fun of the show for its REAL flaws (which there are a lot of). The sections on Riker, Geordi, Beverly and Wesley all work fine if you want an idea of what to do with the others. Otherwise, there are some really great bits like I said, the Jar Jar line, the Rigel VII line and the whole opening paragraph are really funny. |
| Concept: | 8 | It's definitely a sorely needed article, I can't believe it didn't exist to begin with so well done there. The idea of the Federation being the baddies that are taking over the universe is a good idea, and an apt criticism of the show, but could be expanded. They were so smug and self-righteous in TNG, maybe you could do more jokes about that. |
| Prose and formatting: | 10 | This was all good as far as I could tell, read it a few times and didn't notice any errors. The voice was consistent, the layout fine. Well done. |
| Images: | 5 | To be honest I didn't really like the majority of the images. The bridge one was great, and the Uranus one could stay for its caption. The others aren't bad but aren't really good either. Maybe you should look for some others (there must be loads on here already) or have a think about images you could make yourself (or request if, like me, you have no idea how to do that). |
| Miscellaneous: | 7.3 | For Misc. I used an average of your previous scores. Just an extra note, the pet name bit isn't quite as funny as the one in the Star Trek: TOS one, but it is nice to see some consistency between the 2 articles, so that's your call really. |
| Final Score: | 36.3 | This is a good article, but I think the subject has so much more potential for humour. Maybe you should go back and watch a few episodes for ideas (if you can bear it). Remember that this can be a really ridiculous and predictable show, so there's a lot to make fun of. Change the stuff that doesn't really have anything to do with the show, like the nonsensical character bios, and get some funnier images (if possible). Overall though, don't be disenheartened, it's a great article, I don't think many people's first articles are so good. Feel free to get back to me if you want to clarify anything, it's my first review so I've probably ballsed it up. |
| Reviewer: | Black Flamingo 12:49, November 10, 2009 (UTC) | |