User:Stvn hortn
I am a Moose with a top hat, and chainsaws for legs. The main thing I do is fight drug dealers, but with my mediocre magic tricks. Even though i have chainsaws for legs, they are for cosmetic reasons only. Although They do work and for the most time and are turned on, i never use them. I believe magic can stop drug dealers.
Back in the Day[edit | edit source]
Back in the day, before i had Chainsaws for legs, I was addicted to crack. I used to have a meth lab in my basement, which was used to sell timeshares. But one day, I realized that I needed chainsaws for legs, so I sold a bunch of Timeshares in my Meth Lab. After I got my chainsaw legs, I realized that I need to fight drug dealers, who sell drugs and not timeshares, because they are evil. But I needed "some sort of advantage" over the drug dealers. And I realized that I needed to learn magic tricks to fight drug dealers. So I bought a top hat, and deck of cards, to perform mediocre magic tricks on drug dealers.
Rise to Power[edit | edit source]
After I realized my soul purpose, i set out on fighting drug dealers with mediocre magic tricks. I went to a crack dealer named Geoff, and showed him my mediocre magic trick. He tried acting surprised, because people who go around showing magic tricks have no life at all, while others usually feel sorry for them, and try acting surprised. He then offered me some crack, and I told him, "Ha! i performed that magic trick to fight you and your evil". I then walked away with a sense of accomplishment. One drug dealer after another, i gained a following. I am known as "That Moose with a top hat and Chainsaws for legs, that fights drug dealers with mediocre majic tricks"(not to be confused with my Uncyclopedia username). I was worshiped among many.
Hobbies[edit | edit source]
My hobbies include Fighting drug dealers with magic, knitting, playing guitar, and i enjoy watching Seinfeld. i am also a huge fan of blogging. I like listening to ZZ Top, while riding a Unicycle.
My Article(so far)[edit | edit source]
Go to UN:AAN for adoption