User:Soul101/South Africa page
History[edit | edit source]
The Beginning of Time (Or "When Oprah Got Jiggy Wit' Da Hippo")[edit | edit source]
Plan: to be done in the style of zulu myth and legend e.g. the story of the hippo, the story of the cheetahs tears etc. all the crap we loved as kids. I'm thinking a facts detected template will go well here....
Gather around, Little ones, and I will tell you a tale of how our Great Land came to be. There was a time, long, long ago, when the earth was formed on the testicles of the Great Tiger by the great god Mlungu, and Oprah was free to roam the great plains of Kentuckistan. At this time, a great nation was borne on the tip of the world. The first came from the union of a Hippopotamus and Oprah. It is believed that following the union, the Hippo gave birth to 12 children. 3 were lost in the great kudu famine of '68 (scientists are still unable to specify which '68 is referred to). Of the 10 that remained, 4 were men, 4 were woman, and the eldest was a tortoise named Frank. When Frank was only 9 months old, Oprah abandoned the herd to fend for itself. As the hippopotamus was not by nature a hunter, Frank had to learn from a young age how to bring home food for the family to eat. He was aided by the great awimbaweh awimbaweh (translated as The Lion who Sleeps Tonight), who taught him ninja skills, in return for the sacrifice of 3 of Franks sisters. There was now only one female and 3 males, Frank and the Hippopotamus. This meant that there was a lot of interbreeding, which caused people to look less and less like Oprah and Hippopotamii(i), and more and more like kung-fu tortoisesthey look today.
After All Of That Craziness[edit | edit source]
In the year 200 AF (After Frank),