User:Snot

Epitheton epitheta in his normal,impolite,doing

Epitheton epitheta is a species of fungus. It's known as the incredible touristic space traveling mushroom formally known as journeyshroom, Toeristenzwam (Dutch) and Champignon touristique (French).

It's incredible rare, but found everywhere around the globe. It's also found in deep space and has room for extraterrestrials, who also use it to travel trough space. People sometimes see this and say they are flying saucers. We know better, they are flying mushrooms.

Description

One million years ago this fungus crossed with humans to form politicians who start evil wars. The mushroom lives in trees, where it produces light beams, which are projected in the air. We see them as stars. Crossbreeding between these last and humans gave Superman, Batman and someone who wants to stay anonymous. They are very rude fungi and spit in your face when you talk to them. This fungus was described by Cortois en Poppe in 2008, two famous omnilogists (biologists of everything and nothing) who have also discovered the existence of facial hairs in dogs. The type specimen lies in a place where nobody can reach it, somewhere between the Equator and the North Pole. This fungal species is one of the most traveling. It has an own publishing company and writes traveling books. It also provides space trips.

Epithtons favorite music is a mix between Bach, Mozart and Metalcore decorated with sounds of everyday embarresment, which probably explains their rudeness. They are intelligent organisms who live on moulded faces.

Subspecies

Epitheton epitheta as it's invading faerie land

Terrorised species:"I'm losing interspecific competition with that fungus. Whitout my gnomes, who will hug me now..."

There are seven subspecies:

• E.e.var epitheta living on earth and in space.
• E.e. dungii, it lives in the area and eats from sewer with little spoons. His impoliteness is annoying, so they are banned to faerie land in 1066 by William, duke of Normandy, King of England and the bad breath of the corpse of the first Emperor of China. In faerie land they are now an invasive species. They suppress Fly Agarics (Amanita muscaria), so now a lot of gnomes and pixies are now homeless. These homeless folkes have fled from faerie land and migrated over the world, where there are still enough Amanita muscaria to live in, sometimes these are not tolerated by witches and other forest dwellers, who scared them away.In these areas live people who don't believe in gnomes, in other areas gnomes are vicitms of car accidents.

Conservationists among Elves, Gnomes and Giraffes have tried to eat them, but this didn't work. The only thing that stops the journeyshroom is ignoring it very explicitly, like children do when they have to listen to their head master.

• The other five subspecies don't exist and are just rumours, if anyone tells them, throw an egg to him.

Descendants/Hybrids

This mycelium was descendent of a viscious strain of Epitheton, who had started World War II and spread all over the world.Crooked cross mycelia can never be exterminated by rational thinking. Ignorance has made it very slimy and flat. Becouse of that, it dried out very quickly.

Descendants of Epitheton epitheta are abundant in space and on earth:

• God
• Jesus
• Venus and her direct descendant J. Caesar.
• Every bad politician who has started wars
• The Flying Dutchman

These are also fungi(or their corpse is infected with it, which is the same). Some perfumes (which can be exterminated by no longer using perfume, so that their aromatic spores can't spread in the air and form new mycelia) are Epitheton too.

Future expectations

Possible model for the habitus of an ignored individual

Yesterday the species held a congress. It said the species will commit collective suicide within 3000yaers from now by migrating to the sun. This migrating, along with some creationists will cause a new Ice Age and faster rotation of the Earth.

There are Creationist who believe this fungi is God (Divinicus commotionii), and worship him. They also believe the evidence that this species developed 3000000 years before the creation of the earth and so they think to have proven the existence of God. Other creationists said this is the proof of Evolution before creation!

This is nonsense for Atheists, who also believe the species was developed on the same time, but conclude this is the evidence that God is imaginary OR created by this fungus. Normal scientists are sceptical about the date of developing of the species, because it was not hard evidence. They think it's created 11 November 2018012 years ago. Some models predict the species will evolve tomorrow into a clever human, with a cheese sandwich. More fylogenetic evidence is needed to make this statement hard.

Cortois and Poppe are investigating any possibilities that this species is the ancestral species of all apes. Evidence that some people (like dumb people, annoying people, creationists and their sister group the hard atheists) are descendants of the species God is also investigated, but has lead so far to a dead end. The pope said he does not believe in any species that do not occur in the bible and denies the occurrence of this species, so he does not want to stop it from committing suicide, a death sin according to the bible. Biologists think that this suicide is good for its evolution, so they can't stop them either.