User:Smrt-Guy/PMS

George "Whiney" Washington could not say anything bad about this article

Anyone that worked in this article should get a pat on the back for 'tis perfect in every sense of the word. It is recommended that no further changes are made or he may revolt for no reason at all.

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The Partial Marine Survey or PMS is a vital part of the seafaring life, in which a ship makes a survey of only part of the ocean. Since most boats, ships, schooners, vessels, wessels and tugs are busy surveying the entire marine-based ocean, the PMS is an exercise in focus, determination and fecundity.

First PMS

The two Captains just before leaving on thier historic voyage.

The first documented PMS took place in 1066, with the Royal Ship Rags, under the Captainage of George Washington and Erik the Viking. Having two Captains and only one ship caused many problems.

The Problems

Captain George Washington, known as Captain George to his crew, took the helm on 10:45am on November 3, 1066. Where he took it, no one knows.

Captain Erik, known as Cap'n Crunch to his crew, took command of the Rags shortly after and plotted a direct course for Kansas. When a First Bos'n informed him of Kansas' landlocked state, the Captain fell to his knees, weeping, and admitted he didn't know anything about Captaining and really just wanted some chocolate.

The Voyage

For many days the good ship Rags sailed the seas. The ship's log notes Captain George looking forward to seeing his Aunt Flo. Tensions among the crew were high with fights, arguments, crying and massive ice cream consumption.

Most on board would later recall their voyage as their unhappy time "On the Rags."

Later PMS

Just a little more of this would have helped.

About a month after the Rags returned to shore, another PMS started. In historical fact, there has been a PMS voyage every month since 1066. Previous to this there is no proof of PMS, as women were considered property and no one much cared.

That second PMS

This voyage was crewed by the same crew as the first PMS. The men on board said that they would give it a few more weeks, but if the voyage went like the last one, they'd dump this frigate and her bitching and whining and find themselves a new place to drop their oars.

Just like the first

The second voyage was vastly more interesting, with the ship taking her crew places they didn't the first time. But but the end, there was the crying and the whining and throwing of mizzen-masts. Much research was completed on this voyage, which the crew used to make their next voyage, on a newer and younger ship, pretty damn exciting.

Modern PMS

In modern times (post Oscar Wilde) the problem and management of PMS has been approached scientifically. All facets of exploration, cartage, depthage and oldage are taken into account. PMS voyages are still undertaken every month, more through tradition than anything else.