Tzipi Livni was born when the Labor Party left a copy of its manifesto in a cardboard box under an overpass during a rainstorm. Three days later, the manifesto was placed in a lost-and-found. Three days after that, Tzipi Livni was placed in a lost-and-found and neither was claimed.
It is expected that she will be the next Prime Minister barring the extremely unlikely possibility that somebody somewhere would make a deal to keep a liberal female out of the halls of power. in such an eventuality, she is expected to form a coalition with Labor, Mapai, Sheetroot, Sheetrock, and the Wise potato chip company. This should impose a state of rationality on Israeli politics which will be like a cool mountain breeze wafting through a meadow after a rainstorm. Or not. Either way it proves the magic of the democratic system.
Livni was born to two orcs who nested in Old Palastine, Livni from a young age learned many languages and used her Orcish charm to win over many feeble men such as Saddam Hussain and Mick Jagger. Livni was renowned among Orcs for eating fat childern, Orcs were ussually vegatarian however Livni broke all the rules there.
Livni worked for a spy based plumbing company called Mo Sad which was based on a guy called Mo and Mo being very sad at something, Livni managed to gain high ranks in Mo Sad and became chief of Plumbers. Livni left Mo Sad due to performing her job ineeffectivly.
It is known among most people that Livni's first country to [S]invad[/s] be elected in was Britain, She came under the wing of famous Goblin Maggie Thatcher, Maggie taught Livni everything from how to kick men in the balls to how to have childern like Stalin. Livni learned alot and was highly tipped to become Maggie's sucessor as emporor of Mard after Maggie died however a big falling out over a loaf of bread sent Livni packing to Isreal.
Entry to Isreal
Livni swam to Isreal eating boats of childern on the way, She formed a party called Lick Ud, Ud being a man with little brain, Livni used retards for her campaining, Livni was sanctioned by UN for this however she told the UN "That she knew George Bush" and the UN left her alone.
President of The United States Of Isreal
Livni became the president after Invading the polls and throwing retarded kids off buildings, Livni also beheaded Osama Bin Laden and many other notable terrorists, however her popularity began to wane and she lost the next election to Hamas (The food loving party]].
Livni is currently married to Pikachu and has 10 pikalettes with Pikachu, she was critisised by Arab weekly for commiting beastiality but Livni denied this charge, Livni is a big fan of Adolf Hitler's paintings and owns several of them.