User:Slayer of Grues/Article about stuff

Birth and Education

Dave Barry was born in an exploding hospital, not a regular hospital, I am not making this up. Barry was born in Armonk, New York. You could try and find Dave Barry's school records, but the experience would be similar to building a fully functional space station from only a paper clip, glass eyeball and another paper clip, using only solar power, while indoors.

Teenage Years

Dave Barry's childhood was similar to anyone's, except for the fact that his parents were crime fighting quakers, this difference is negligible of course. Having Crime Fighting Quakers for parents ensured that Dave would grow up like any and every other child (that is, those with parents that also happened to have parents that were Crime Fighting Quakers or had other oxymoron orientated related jobs). Dave slowly came to realize his parents' true occupation on several occasions. While other parents would bring paperwork from the office, Dave's parents would routinely show up with spandex and capes.