User:SirIsaac/New action movie to feature lots of explosions
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
24 June 2007
“Lethal Revenge Ultra,” a new action movie from director William Peterson Jr., will feature lots of explosions, according to sources close to Peterson. “So, like, the hero guy will jump out of a window, and then, then… the whole building- BOOM!” said Peterson yesterday to his assistant. “You’re getting this, right?” he added. Peterson, known for his hardcore movies riddled with gunfire and wry one-liners, had previously directed "Right to Kill" and the original "Lethal Action" movie. He also had a hand in the straight to video "12.0 on a 10.0 Scale of Badness." “Listen,” said Peterson emphatically. “This will be like, friggin’ EPIC. Epic.”
Experts agree that this volume of explosions jam-packed into one super-exciting summer thrill ride is unheard of. “Honestly, I thought Peterson couldn’t top himself after the original Lethal Action. But along comes [Jayson] Masterson with Rightful Vengeance. That was kickass,” said local moviegoer Shawn Prescott. “So this movie should be tiiiighhhttt. I need more popcorn.” While it is decided that this movie will be like, totally sweet, there is some question to the exact number of explosions this movie will feature.” “Tons, baby. Tons,” said Peterson. “I mean, gonzo amount. These special effects are gonna make the studio break their piggybank!”
Movie critics appear to be the only ones not entranced by the shiny, firey explosions that populate Peterson’s movies. “High on action, but dreadfully low on plot, this movie fails to inspire any kind words about itself,” said Ronald Harrison, a critic for the Miami Tribune. “I don’t know why this fellow has an aversion to explosions,” said leading psychologist Marvin Reading. “Perhaps one popped out from behind a door or something when he was little.”
The movie, set for release during “summer,” already has many people speculating on the content of the film. “Man, it would be really cool if a building blew up and then all these other buildings blew up, like dominoes,” said Prescott. “That’d be like, damn.”
