User:Shabidoo/happymonkeycompetition/2015/Matthlock Scores and comments
Results and scores for Matthlock
Article: Life as a Metaphor for Sports]
From Sarah[edit | edit source]
| Creativity | Humour | Originality | Total |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7/10 | 7/10 | 8/10 | 22/30 |
Vomiting (at least twice): good find! I also liked how you repeated the fish and chips thing twice, picture included. Trash heaven and trash food made me smile. The concept of being able to kill someone while they're already dead isn't so original I find, maybe it would've been better to stick with the idea of demoting someone to a different heaven or hell as you started out? That was a good one. The article as a whole is definitely original though. Good job!
From GrammarFegelein[edit | edit source]
| Creativity | Humour | Originality | Total |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6/10 | 6/10 | 8/10 | 20/30 |
The title confuses me. Shouldn't it be "Sports as a metaphor for life."? Anyway, This article isn't bad, It doesn't get to the metaphors till halfway through the article and the pictures were OK. This article is like a box, not pretty to look at but it gets the job done. 09:12, 5 August 2015 (UTC)
From Shabidoo[edit | edit source]
| Creativity | Humour | Originality | Total |
|---|---|---|---|
| 8/10 | 8.5/10 | 8/10 | 24.5/30 |
- smelling things (unless you have anosmia). I like the line...especially since I never knew about this word.
- I know, of course, because I am dead.
- being dead doesn't mean I know everything yet
- have been forbidden from knowing all due to the fact that I murdered a clown while high on crack (however the rest of the line was overkill. Clown and crack is all you need to be funny).
- but I circumlocute from that point.
- Now, I bet you're wondering where I got that timpani from.
- Looks like the wife (who's also dead and living in Trash Heaven) is calling me to trash dinner.We have a way of getting things here in Trash Heaven. (utterly splendid line...well played).
- I want fucking trash foie gras
- not nine, you stupid Dante! (creative, original and helarious)
- Patriotism is a love for your country, which everybody should have except for Americans.
- That is a metaphor for birth obviously.
- Oh no, here comes my parole officer (I laughed out loud. I think my roomates are worried about me).
- VOICE IN BACKGROUND: And don't forget the Joker!
Very nice repeating the image three times. Creative use of repetition. Random images were also awesome.
The djokovich was a little wonky as well as the paragraphs about deer and Brett Favre. It seemed out of place. In general I didn't get much of the sports stuff. I think you could have actually talked about the sports rather than figures.
Try not to go overboard with the bitch and fuck. I highly recommend using them sparringly and strategically placed.
Im sure to lose the contest now. (Meta-creativity).
Over all...pretty funny. Many many lines of laughs. You also glued together several concepts and barring the sportsmen stuff...made a cohesive and very original article. I dig the different forms of narrative from first person to third person to script. High marks and a few taken off for the wonky stuff. Great article!
From THS[edit | edit source]
| Score |
|---|
| 7.5/10 |
Surprisingly funny. I had some negative thoughts about it when I heard the title, but no, it was alright. I would give it a full 8, but I'm taking half a vote off until someone tell me once and for all how to pronounce Brett Favre's last name. ~[ths] UotM 
22:30, 08/05/2015
Grand Total[edit | edit source]
74/100