User:Shabidoo/happymonkeycompetition/2013/IFYMB!
Pee reviews for: IFYMB!
Article: UnReviews:The Crimean War
Pee Review from Shabidoo
| Creativity: | 10/10 |
Over flowing with ideas and creativity. A ten out of ten for that. From badly snorted cocain, to a dissapointing lack of gay bashing to mankini. I think you jammed in about as much creativity as possible per cubic sentence to great effect. Without a doubt the most creative of all the articles in my opinion! |
| Originality: | 8.5/10 |
I like how you wrote about the whacky adventure of various people seeing a movie about the war rather than a wikipedia style article about it. Its funny how we learnt nothing at all about the war throughout the article and instead see images of naked women. Showing four different reviews was also wonderfuly original. It's not...on the other hand....the most original thing to do...to call the topic of the article a piece of shit from the very beginning. It can be a good way to start off the article by insulting the subject of the article (the Crimean War as a film)...but its been done a lot and I think that it can be phrased differently and given a much better effect. For example: Peak the interest of the reader by calling it "The movie that destroyed me life", or by extending the joke a little with redundant facts "Any movie on the Crimean war is going to be wet cat vomit!" I do like the strategically placed redundant information like "repainting our bungalow" and "there were tons of fish all over". By placing these in the right spots, not to often and with restraint, it adds a great level of humour to the article but more importantly makes the article seem like its more than the average crazy douche people describing something they didn't like. I like the even more absurd explanation as to why the eye swelled up. Very unexpected and funny. When we discover that one of the women is very guy like in her horniness and crassness...I was pleasantly caught off guard and surprised. Once you've read hundreds of uncyclopedia articles...it's always a pleasure to be surprised in this way and one can't ask for a better delivery of originality! I think towards the end of the article you lost the edge that you had from the beginning...with some well concieved ideas, well timed and well placed humour sort of dived down to the "fish swam up her vagina" which isn't helped by the image of the girl with whipcream on her nipples. If you could reword the sentence to seem a little less juvanile like "She desparately tried to keep the fish from swimming up her vagina" ... I think it seems more humorous and a less for pure shock value and nothing else. I didn't really get the French hate the French remark. In the last section...the guy is sort of repeating many things the other reviewers have already said and so it doesn't seem like you fully developed a fourth individual character. By mentioning the Turkish guy just as the previous reviewer had...the character is less believable (not that any of them are believable outside of our uncyclopedia-like world). Several of the characters also repeat insest related comments which...I think would be more effective if you only had one character do so. In any case...this certainly isn't the type of article one would expect considering the topic and any reader should expect the very unexpected. |
| Humour: | 8/10 |
The comment on the inbred cousin, the reference to cocaine both made me laugh. "My sister...she was loving it" was a near LOL moment. Tripped over Maryland...that has the extra bonus of being not just funny but also entirely original and creative. Extra points for this! Tripping down the stairs was funny. Sausages while slapping my tits...that's my kind of humour when executed well. Man we have a disfunctional family was utterly helarious...well placed and horrifically understated....it made me LOL big time. I found the scrabble comment a little flat after all the helarious and original lines you had before. Maybe you were exhausted after writing so much in such a short space of time. |
| Final Score: | 26.5/30 |
Over all I'm impressed with what you managed to spit out in such short time. It was a great idea to show four short reviews of the film and your explosive creativity which is restrained at times. I don't think it is restrained enough at some moments and I think you'd benifit from putting a bit more thought into each individual characters and how to make them each original. It is helarious as per my sense of humour (though I doubt it will be featured in the state it's in re the sensibilities of some uncyclopedians). However, seeing as this is a competition about originality, creativity and humour...you get very high marks from this judge and it gratifies me to see an article in the competition which fulfils the brief. --ShabiDOO 23:10, 25 March 2013 (UTC) |
Pee Review from ¡¡¡Y¡¡¡
| Creativity: | 7/10 |
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| Originality: | 9/10 |
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| Humour: | 8/10 |
Ha! That picture at the beginning lolled me so hard. ??? |
| Final Score: | 24/30 |
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Pee Review from Multiliteralist
| Creativity: | 7/10 |
Couldn't give more because many of the elements were pretty predictable on Uncyclopedia. |
| Originality: | 7/10 |
I've seen another by Guildensternenstein where total incompetents judge a film. I think the article is Akira Kurosawa - well worth the reading even if it isn't. |
| Humour: | 8/10 |
Not bad, again a couple of chuckles. Bears to be noted I seldom laugh at my own stuff either. |
| Final Score: | 22/30 |
I take it the typos are there on purpose. Written more carefully this might have been worth more. |
| Score | Comment |
|---|---|
| 8/10 | Put comment here: I liked the concept and since im a newbie here I don't know how often its been done... Overall didnt scream out loud with laughter, but it certainly had its merits. |