User:Shabidoo/happymonkeycompetition/2011/TKF
Happy Monkey Competition Winter 2011
Pee reviews for: The Killer Froggy
Article: Rapto-velocity
Pee Review from Shabidoo
| Humo(u)r: | 9/10 |
the whole article is funny with verry funny moments. Further into debt LOL moment. Fucking fast LOL moment. Rise 20 miles an hour also LOL. That doesnt even make sense, in my humble opinion, so cheesy it kind of fluffs out the whole section. Murderous was one of the whoppers of the competition. GDP funny, funnier that you qualified it as the whole continent minus Nigeria. Prime decandence, really good humour rapping up a section of sections. The formula is extra funny but "this doesnt mean anything" is a little over used and could be modified to have the same meaning but be funny, in my humble opinion. I didn't dig the foot notes. Over all extra whopping funny for me, and great LOL moments while still fitting in well with the topic and concept. |
| Creativity: | 8.5/10 |
A good score for creativity, though did you go outside your area of comfort on this one? In particular making fun of the cost, speed and deadliness separately was creative and in each sectino you add new things from outside the readers expectation, however, theres a lacking freshness that is there in the other articles of that didn't do so well over all but had mind blowing creativity. |
| Images: | 7.5/10 |
Two good images and well placed. No chopping? You showed deadliness, you showed speed, what about expensive? |
| Prose, Formatting, Links: | 4/5 |
Great prose, divided into sections well, where are the links? You seem to jump in and out of serious wikipedia article parody to the "fucking this" thing which in my humble opinion needs a little fine tuning to get the transitions down well instead of jumping out at you. |
| Concept or whatever you want to put here: | 5/5 |
I like the concept, its clear and presented well for a 24 hour contest. This plane has three atributes which are hyper exagerated and even loved by people but, here are the consequences. It takes on super natural qualities because its so extra these three thigns it defies physics and logic. My favourite moment of the article, which sums it up for me, is crashing the plane into the side of the mountain. Great job in all categories for 24 hours. |
| Final Score: | 34/40 |
I dont have much more to say except i didnt get the foot notes, perhaps showing expense will make the trio of pictures and the use of fuck is funny but could be funnier. Im sure you will turn this into a really good polished article. And finally, saved for last, great interpretation of topic. A hard topic at that! |
| Comments: | ||
Pee Review from: Magic man
| Humo(u)r: | 7/10 |
All the jokes in this article are either shock humor or pop culture references, which can get annoying at times. That being said, I really kinda like this article. But you do need to vary your jokes a little. I also think the whole Q&A format is good, but you could build on it. Like the last two sections (I'm not counting "That's pretty intense") don't stick to the Q&A format. And lastly, I think the "That's pretty intense" section is useless. It really isn't that funny, and too short at that. |
| Creativity: | 8/10 |
Wow, just wow. I would've never thought of this myself. I really wasn't expecting this kind of article when I clicked on the link. Very creative. Good job. |
| Images: | 7/10 |
I like the second image. But when it comes to the first one, not so much. I think a gif would've been better there. I also think you could've came up with a better caption than "Boom!". I also agree with Shabidoo, you need one more. Maybe a smaller one. |
| Prose, Formatting, Links: | 4/5 |
I really kind of suck at written grammar, spelling and the like myself. But it looked okay to me. I liked the format, and the order of things. So... Yeah... |
| Concept or whatever you want to put here: | 3.5/5 |
It's interesting... I like it, but at the same time I don't. There's nothing really wrong with it, but it seems to up in your face. With the "Fucking this" and the "Fucking that". It's a bit annoying at times. |
| Final Score: | 29.5/40 |
So this is probably one of the best I've seen so far, but it needs some touching up in order to be great. |
| Comments: | ||
