User:Shabidoo/happymonkeycompetition/2011/Fishalishalish
Happy Monkey Competition Winter 2011
Pee reviews for: Fishalishalish
Article: Great Barrier Reef
Pee Review from Shabidoo
| Humo(u)r: | 7.5/10 |
It opens with a funny like that made me LOL (genocide). Which sets the tone for the whole article though there are times where the humour dips down in moments of seriousness or, umm, going in a controversial direction. Here are the moments I found funny: pedophile accents (with reference link) verry funny. Rounding Australians up then followed by ancient biblical home land funny joke, one of many in just your first paragraph. Capital of cranberra funny. It seems to peter off for the rest of the section (though still humerous). The vegimite famine, another LOL. Im lost for words in the next section. Many blame the woman made me laugh. Lets fight racism quote a great and funny way to end the article. The picture and caption at the end is also very funny. |
| Creativity: | 9.5/10 |
You NAILED creativity. Great amazing job turning a natural sea barrier into a geo political human barrier. You are off the wall with ideas, funny and all. -.5 for letting this creativity get out out of control a couple times. |
| Images: | 7.5/10 |
The first and last image are well chosen. The second one is a nice picture of a shark, but perhaps relating it more directly with the reef, or what its supposed to be, a british shark attacking australians trying to escape would work better. No chopping? Nice captions. |
| Prose, Formatting, Links: | 4/5 |
Well written, lots of links, there is one big grammar error that really sticks out. A proof reading will make it obvious to you. Good dividing of sections. Needs a little polishing. |
| Concept or whatever you want to put here: | 3.5/5 |
The concept is clear, a barrier, and you slowly reveal what it is and make it funnier and funnier each time. Where you lose me is the auschwitz part, which unless done really well will only hurt your article. In my opinion theres nothing wrong with adding it, but it should maybe be explored for what it was or making fun of what it was, which I don't see here in this article. |
| Final Score: | 32/40 |
Really great creative and funny job. the beginning and end are solid for a 24 hour job, now all the elements need to be pulled together to help out the sagging centre. |
| Comments: | ||
Pee Review from: Fudgemobile
| Humo(u)r: | 9/10 |
(9/10) From someone living in Australia, I got heaps of laughs from it. |
| Creativity: | 7/10 |
(7/10) Very creative, I like it. |
| Images: | 8/10 |
(8/10) Loved the pictures, they suited the article. |
| Prose, Formatting, Links: | 3/5 |
(3/5) A few grammatical mistakes, misplacement of words and whatnot. |
| Concept or whatever you want to put here: | 4/5 |
(4/5) I thought some parts got a bit off topic. |
| Final Score: | 31/40 |
(31/40) Some parts needed to be polished a bit, but a very good article. |
| Comments: | ||
