User:Shabidoo/crit
Uncyclopedia is the internets version of bathroom stall doodling. It's a repository of articles that are once in a while kind of funny. It's a place where some pretty weird people engage in lonely male bonding. No one from outside has ever heard of the place. There's much to criticise...but no one cares.
Deleted Content[edit | edit source]
About one written word in ten thousand end up lasting more than a week on Uncyclopedia and even fewer full articles.lasts more than a second. The moment a bored passer by tries their hand at creating an article, some uncyclopediaphile up and about at five in the morning will submitted for deletion one internet second after the article is saved. The article is then voted against by all of Uncyclopedias friendly and helpful staff and it is deleted without a trace...as though the passer by didn't even visit the site. If one took all of the words that had been removed from articles and jumbled them around, it would eventually form the complete works by shakespear around five thousand times. Humans seem to be better at generating high literature than poop throwing monkeys.
Collaboration[edit | edit source]
The moment you suggest a change to someone else's article, your attempt at collaboration will often result in your account being deleted. If anyone ever adds to a featured article one can expect it to be erased one micro second after its submission. Authors who can die in peace having had their articles featured are so offended by the slightest change to their writing, even spelling corrections, that they employ bots to go to war. Such bots revert any transgression against their article and leave automatic messages such as "don't touch my precious" or "it's not that your contribution is completely despised but you have no fucking right to edit my perfection". Other popular reverts have been labeled "hey man, this is MY article, I wrote it, it was ME who nominated it, it was MY sockpupet accounts that voted for it, and it is NOT you to touch my sweet sweet baby, don't touch her, no no no, my sweeeeeeeet baby", as well as "um, yeah, um, I don't think so, as funny as you may think your contribution is, it just doesn't fit in with my kind of funny, and my kind of funny is a kind of funny with a story, and a sort of scheme that you don't get and your addition loosens up my text rather than tightening it and with what youve written, it's kind of funny I guess, but I just don't see it as a featured article nor do I see you ever writing a single word that will spend more than 5 seconds before its reverted. Lonely male bonding can only be understood by lonely male bonders.
Servers[edit | edit source]
Currently Uncyclopedia is hosted by wikia, a sort of meta-club of meta-lonely male bonding. However, before so, no server hosted Uncyclopedia for more than a couple weeks as the lack of interest in the site and amount of data added and immediately deleted made any server go haywire. Wikia has a reputation for being the most friendly and open wiki-based website host and thankfuly never do anything to interfere with the spirit of their wikis. Uncyclopedia does not deserve such kindness. Uncyclopedians thank wikia by sending their staff flowers on valentines day and by passive agressively creating a black hole of animosity and bitterness that sucks many websites around it into the vortex of lonely male bonding.
Centricism[edit | edit source]
Uncyclopedia is so Anglo-Saxon biased that people who don't speak English are unable to understand the articles. Even native English speakers who speak exotic and strange dialects are very underepresented there. Canadians for instance make up a large quantity of writers and yet despite the fact that nothing ever happens in Canada...there are almost no articles on the country. Even though Australian´s produced the worlds funniest comedian no one in the country has ever heard of the name uncyclopedia.
Many foreigners are learning English at a steady pace and it is sure that in the future their contributions will certainly one day be very unwelcome.
Articles from other language versions of Uncyclopedia are never translated into English as not a single uncyclopedian can speak anything other than English. Learning to count to 5 in any other language takes a lot of time you see. And yet...even having spoken English their whole lives, not a single Uncyclopedian can write a single sentence without spelling mystakes, confusing grammar and an incredible amount of content based on making fun of gay people.
Optimism[edit | edit source]
Rare needles in the unfunny haystack...search for a few months and you will find a couple articles worth reading while you are on the toilet. The optimism is that one day these lonely men will make non e-friends and let Uncyclopedia sink deeply into its obscurity and other side of the railroad track.