User:Pentium5dot1/Storage facility/StepMania

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This page contains original synthesis, and it is not intended to provide factual information about StepMania.


For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about StepMania.

Insert infobox and images

StepMania, the Free DDR Ripoff(TM) was created by The Stepford Wives as part of a program to promote physical fitness in children.


The conspiracy[edit]

(Summarize the relevant conspiracy theory, which will be fleshed out more in the sections below)

(Something about Konami being on one end of the conspiracy? Officially, they discourage the use of StepMania because it promotes copyright infringement, but in reality they want to keep it around so people will be interested in harder and harder stepcharts. Fatal injuries eventually result from the excessively hard charts.)

(And something about such SadoMasochistic stepcharts.)

The Great Input Device Debate[edit]

Safety hazards[edit]

(Insert something here about people hurting their fingers w/ excessively hard simfiles, etc., and tie this into the conspiracy theory)

Legal issues[edit]

StepMania's predecessor Dance With Intensity (explain how this fits into the conspiracy) came with clearly posted warnings stating "You must legally own all music used." However, the StepMania developers were lazy and did not include any such warnings in StepMania's default theme. As a result, almost all StepMania simfiles come with pirated music. (Perhaps RIAA has a vendetta against the SM devs - just what kind of vendetta are we talking about here?)


Version control systems[edit]

(Say something about why the developers switched from CVS to SVN. Mention something about the first officially sanctioned SVN binary released on 1 April 2009 (called "StepMania NSFW Edition"). Uncyclopedia doesn't have an article on either of those version control systems, which makes things a little harder.)


(This is just a list; appropriate satirical fluff still needs to be added. These are listed in order by original version number, not chronologically.)

Noncommercial (not counting Mungyodance and similar packages):

  • StepMania 3.9 was forked to Ridiculous Timing, StepMania 3.9 PLUS (and in turn Aldo_MX), StepMania 3.9 4-player, PumpMania, ... any others?
  • StepMania "3.95" was forked to OpenITG
  • A CVS build near ITG PC was officially forked to StepMania 4.0 beta
  • The last 4.0 CVS (2008-01-03) was forked to at least one PIU-focused build (StepNXA)
  • StepMania 4.0 alpha was forked to sm-ssc, which became StepMania 5

Commercial: TODO

Whoever writes this article should express dissatisfaction with the general course of StepMania development.

Known bugs[edit]

The Secret Time Warp[edit]

(that is, negative BPMs - use by simfile authors, the "quantum paradoxes" it creates, and its suppression by the cabal in SM4.0)

The Secret Time Warp was discovered by the Foonmix team(?), who demonstrated that inserting a negative BPM value into the step data would create a quantum paradox and warp ahead to another location within the step chart. It was popularized by Family Farce with help from (a?) Mew ...

(Actually, negative BPMs have been reintroduced by various means in sm-ssc and 4.0 betas)

Other bugs[edit]

DO NOT EXIST (restate this in a funnier way)

The StepMania Music Consortium Cabal[edit]

(artists whose music is better known through StepMania than elsewhere, like Mindless Self Indulgence[citation needed], Machinae Supremacy[citation needed], Kyle Ward, DM Ashura, Sanxion7, etc.)

Commercial use[edit]

In The Groove[edit]

Also called Pedwar It Up: In The Groove... for this joke to work, we need to pretend that at least one of the StepMania developers is Welsh[1]

Pump It Up PRO[edit]

Failed projects[edit]

Freeware products[edit]


(make appropriate furry jokes here, WITHIN LIMITS - see again HTBFANJS)[2]

Any others?[edit]

  • Pulsen (spiritual successor to the Mungyodance series?)
  • ParaStar (project is dead)


  1. This idea was originally introduced by Tepples; please read his edit summary and refer to wikipedia:Welsh numerals. Notice that "pedwar" is the (masculine) Welsh word for the number 4, while "pump" is the Welsh word for 5, which corresponds to the number of panels per player in each game. Also, ITG2 was originally titled "Pump It Up: In the Groove 2" to acknowledge Andamiro's role in manufacturing the first run of dedicabs.
  2. Official site: [1][um... dying link] Wikia wiki: [2]

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